Tavianna’s Growing Money Confidence

Money Files

When I started working with Tavianna, she was living paycheck to paycheck…even though she was making plenty of money. The issue wasn’t necessarily her income—though she does have bigger income goals now—it was the fact that she wasn’t paying attention to where her money was going. She was lacking clarity and money confidence.

Through working with me in my five month coaching partnership, Tavianna learned how to implement spending goals, why it’s important to give specific purposes to each dollar she earns, and how to be prepared when unexpected expenses pop up. She discovered how to communicate clearly with her partner about finances, ditch the installment plan lifestyle, and manage her finances in a way that moved her intentionally forward and bolstered her money confidence, instead of falling back into old habits. 

This money knowledge and confidence has helped her to build up how much money is in her accounts, to choose consciously where she spends her money, and to think strategically about how and when she gives money to others. These changes to her mindset and conversations around money allowed her to focus more clearly on her financial goals and dreams.

In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • The shifts in money conversation with her husband that most surprised Tavianna [03:15]
  • Tavianna’s big “aha” moment with spending [06:49]
  • How Tavianna broke free from paying for things in installments [10:59]
  • How she feels when looking at her account balance, knowing that she is prepared [14:26]
  • How a PTO account can help you stay prepared when you have fluctuating hours and income [17:14]
  • The results that Tavianna is most proud of after 6+ months working with me [24:53]
  • How Tavianna doesn’t let money setbacks get the best of her [31:41]
  • Her advice for someone looking to commit to their financial future [38:55]

Tune in to this episode to learn how Tavianna stayed consistent on her money management journey.

Want to experience the confidence and happiness that Tavianna has in her money relationship? Apply to work with me, and let’s start working towards your financial goals.

Want to hear more about Tavianna’s journey to financial confidence? Listen to her first episode here!

Transcript for “Tavianna’s Growing Money Confidence”:

Keina: Hi and welcome to Money Files. I’m Keina Newell from Wealth Over Now. I work every day with professional women and solopreneurs to help them get out of financial overwhelm and shame so they can experience more flexibility and ease with their finances. Are you ready to gain confidence and learn to manage your finances intentionally? Tune in and grab financial tips that will help you master the way you think about and manage your finances. 

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Money Files. I’m with my client Tavianna. We talked several months ago. I kind of gave you a behind the scenes. Tavianna was in the midst of coaching with me at that time. And so I thought it would be fun to do a follow up interview… which I love these follow up interviews. One: because I love like celebrating clients. And I think for you as a listener, you can decide if all of this sounds like okeydoke to you or if it’s, as Tavianna said in the last interview, if it’s just Keina Kool-Aid and maybe it’s maybe it’s not real. So thanks for joining me. 

Tavianna: Hello. Hi. So glad to be back. 

Keina: Yeah. So I think since the—wait, I don’t remember exactly when we did your interview. I can’t remember if you were married or not married at the time. 

Tavianna: I was not married at the time. So I think we had been a couple months engaged and we were trying to figure out what we wanted to do. And so I think for that November timeframe, so we got married in February, it was very fast, but yeah, yeah. 

Keina: And since getting married, we actually brought your fiance into the work just to start talking about what does it look like to manage finances as a couple? What do you want that financial foundation to be in terms of building this partnership, not just, you know, and all of the areas that marriage can be, but just thinking about finances is like one of the number one causes of divorce and finances being very emotional and people not talking about money and it just being the thing that we sweep under the rug. So. 

Tavianna: Absolutely. Yes. And we have had more conversations about money than I… I don’t know that I… I’m not sure. I don’t know if I thought that we weren’t going to talk about money in this way. But we’ve been talking about money, it feels like nonstop but like in a very healthy way, you know. Not just what you want to do with our goals, but like very thoughtful, in-depth, healthy conversations about money, where we want to be, where we currently are. So it’s a nice it’s been good because he’s he’s he’s on he’s on the train. He’s with me. 

Keina: Yeah. If you don’t mind. Like, I feel like we brought C.J. into our own love affair, our money love affair. 

Tavianna: Yes. 

Keina: Say hi, C.J., My name’s Keina, how are you? And I would I would name that. I think that that’s usually when I work with couples, there’s one one person that’s like, yes, Keina, another one’s like, let me see what this girl is talking about. But yeah, just tell us about what has like give us some maybe concrete examples of some of the shifts like you were saying, like these money conversations that you’re having that you didn’t think you would have. 

Tavianna: Yeah. So I know one of the shift has been actually like putting a, like an amount, a dollar a number, like what do you call it? Like a name for every dollar, actually naming what our money is supposed to do and where it’s supposed to go. Because I think when we had initially started talking about our finances, it was kind of just like, yeah, we know we want to save $25,000 and yeah, we know we want to go on vacation three times a year, but there wasn’t really like… It just wasn’t thoughtful. It’s kind of just like these are our goals that we want to set, but not really a plan to get there. Not like, not specifically talking about what that’ll take to get there. 

And so now it’s been much more of okay if we want to save X amount by this month, here’s what that means per pay period. Here’s what that means, should we have to shift or pivot in one direction or another, Like it’s just a lot more detailed and specific than I think it would have ever been in the past or than I know it had been in the past. Along with that, though, I think one of the most meaningful exercises that you had us do a couple of months ago was talking about our financial boundaries because that was something that, again, I never would have thought to do. And that was so helpful. 

We have these little like relationship cards that we do every Sunday, and so they’re about a bunch of different things. How do you want to raise your kids? You know, where would you like to live? Things like that. And one of the one of our activities during those Sunday conversations was talking about our financial boundaries. So that to me was eye opening because there were some areas where we were aligned and on point and in the same place and then others where we had a little bit more discussion. 

And so it was nice to know that we have that document saved on our computer in the event that there are any questions or confusion about where we’re going. If we if we get derailed, it’s very easy to just be like, let me pull up this doc. Remember we said on February 19, we’re going to do this, that and the third. So I think that was probably one of my favorite activities that we’ve done. And I know that it’s going to help to carry us today, tomorrow and forever. So. Yeah. Was that your question? Oops.

Keina: No you’re totally fine. One: I love that you guys have like a set time and it’s not just about money, but it’s like for your relationship, right, where you’re having intentional conversations. And I want to underscore that for people, I think whether you’re single or in a relationship, right, it’s like the intentionality behind how you’re using your time helps you actually be in alignment with your goals. 

Because I think a lot of us set goals and then it’s like, but where does where do you calendar in how you want to focus on your goals, right? What does that look like? And then, two: I think from our calls together, I would say that you and C.J. have also just I think you approach things with like curiosity. Like I think a lot of people could hear this, like financial boundaries is like, no, you can’t do this or not do that, but it’s being able to have this like open conversation. 

And I know, I think one of the “ahas” you shared with me, it was like somebody had asked you to borrow money and you were like, I never would have paused to think about it. I would have just given them the money. Right. And it wasn’t, I want people to hear, it’s not about do I have the money to give or not have the money to give, but it’s being able to have that extra day. It’s being able to have just even the thought about like, hold on, wait, is this what I want to do? Which I think that that’s something you’ve gotten really good at in the last like six, more than six months that we’ve worked together. 

Tavianna: Absolutely. It’s been… That to me is also another like big moment or like big transition in how I operate and behave when it comes to my finances. Because like you said, I was very much like, I want to give, I want to support, I want to contribute. Let me do that. And then thinking about the impact on my bill,my responsibilities and everything else after the fact, now I’m like, okay, sure. That’s great, I would love to support you, but I got to sit down and make sure that I can. I have to sit down and take a beat to make sure that this is not going to set me back or this is not going to impact me in a negative way just because I’m trying to give and support and be charitable, if you will. 

C.J. would probably like he would tell anybody, I’m the queen of returns. And that is another thing that he’s like, Why are you always returning stuff? I’m like, It’s not like to be shady, but if I buy something and it doesn’t fit or if I get home and I’m like, I don’t like this anymore, these shoes don’t look the same way with this outfit that I thought they would, I will go right back to the store and be like, Hey, all, I need my money back ASAP. 

So it just goes back to like this idea of, like, doing what… taking a step, taking a breath, being considerate and thoughtful about how I’m managing my money, but not just managing, how I’m spending and then being in tune with how I feel after I spend, right? So like, I think that was one of our first exercises, tracking the feeling behind it. I don’t want to give, I don’t want to buy something and not like it. I’m going to get my money back regardless so that’s important for me to be mindful of how I feel, what I’ve done, what I’ve given, so that I can, I don’t know. It just helps to be more thoughtful about your finances. 

Keina: I’m curious for you, like, in what ways do you see yourself doing or spending money in the same way, but maybe you have different feelings about it?

Tavianna: That’s a good question. This is one that’s top of mind for me. It’s my my personal budget. Like, my my I guess you call it like your self care budget, but it’s like my manicures, my pedicures, my eyebrows, my waxes, those things. Very early on, I was like, look, I cannot give up my manicure and my pedicure. That is not an option. I don’t know what you’re going to say, Keina, but I will not give that up. This is my life. These are my dollars. I’m doing it, right. Gung ho about that and I’m still gung ho about that. I’m still spending money on those pieces that I enjoy. I love when my nails are freshly done. I enjoy the process of going to get my nails done, things like that. 

And so I’m still spending the money, but the way I’m setting aside… Like before, I don’t think I paid attention to how much it costs. Like if I wanted a design or a full set of design,or if I wanted to, if I knew I had an event and I was going to need my nails done right before the event, that would throw me off of my three week plan. I would have to go an extra week or whatever the case might have been. I just wasn’t thinking about that. But now I’m planning and I’m setting the money aside so I have it. And it’s not being pulled from my bills or being pulled from any other set of dollars that are going toward other things. 

So it’s kind of just like looking at the calendar, figuring what’s coming up, being intentional about my schedule, knowing that, okay, this might be a week where you’re going to get your nails done, but you can’t get a design on everything because that’s an extra $4. What does that add up to? If you’re going to do designs on every finger, can you get a gel pedicure? Because it’s more. All of these things that like, I’m sure the listeners are going to be like, this girl is crazy, but it really does add up. 

So that’s something that I think I’ve appreciated because it helps me to control, like to think long term, to think about my schedule or my calendar and what I’m spending and how I’m spending it. So yeah, that’s different for sure. Very different. But again, my nails are still done. So thank you. 

Keina: I as you were talking about your self-care, I remember a message you sent me on Instagram. Basically, you’ve you’ve been delivered from Klarna. 

[00:10:51] Tavianna: Yes. Free from the fact that. 

Keina: And then you also said, I’m saving up. What did you tell me you were saving up for a wig? 

Tavianna: Yes. Yes, I was. And let me tell you, wigs are expensive, and I would have put that wig in the past on four equal payments and it would have been in my lap in two or three days, and I would have been paying it off over the course of however many weeks. But I did not do that. I have learned and I guess this is like a weird psychological thing, like it feels so much better to wear your wig knowing that you paid it off and it belongs to you. 

Keina: This is my hair. 

Tavianna: Okay, not looking over your shoulder like somebody is going to come knock it off your head because you still owe money on it. So, yes, there’s no reason to be doing installment payments on hair. I’m grateful for the deliverance from that that lifestyle. And it also feels great to not owe anybody like to not owe money for something. 

Keina: And I think like, I mean, that’s just another example, right? Like you… I always want to encourage people like how can you have this “both and” lifestyle like Tavianna’s gonna get her wig whenever she gets it. And and also thinking about I, well, one, I don’t think I can wear a wig. I just don’t think I would pull it off, like Keina, please, take two seats. 

Tavianna: You gotta try. You gotta find the right one!

Keina: Right? But like what I enjoy and what you enjoy are different.

Tavianna: Right. 

Keina: Is is where I’m going with this point and to know, like, how can you put the things that you enjoy into your financial plan. And being able to know what’s the direct impact of that, whether it’s joy in your life or I’m going to, you know, shift this other goal that I’m focused on right now. And I think people see stuff like Klarna, Affirm, I feel like there’s another name out there I’ve learned recently… 

Tavianna: Quad pay or whatever, yep. 

Keina: Yeah, like PayPal, right. And it’s not that… I think people justify the oh, it’s three payments of $40, right. Cool, it’s three payments of $40, but when you don’t actually have like a plan and don’t know where your money is going, you don’t know what that $40 is potentially committed to. Right. And so that’s that’s where you get to payday or get to the end of the month and you’re like, hold on, I’m feeling a little short, because you’ve said yes in so many moments. 

Tavianna: Yes. 

Keina: That you never get to actually get ahead.

[00:13:13] Speaker 2 Right. The other thing about that too, for me, my Klarna experiences were always like the money’s coming out at the worst possible time. Not only have I committed to it, but I then did not write down like the payments are coming out on this day or that day or this day, so then I’m like, I’m out and about at brunch, having a good time, I’m ready to spend my money. And I look and I’m like, oh shoot, $70 came out. This was $70 for brunch. Where did it go? 

And so I think it’s a bad… and I’m sure for some people it works. For me and my lifestyle, it was not helpful and I feel like it ended up getting me back more often than not when if I just stacked the money for a month or two or a couple of whatever, if I just planned for whatever the expense was, I could I could enjoy whatever the the thing is the item, the goal, guilt free. So I think that’s a much better practice than letting people take money out of your account. I’m sure it’s on some sort of cadence, but I felt like every day it was like, you just took this money out.

Keina: Which one is this for?

Tavianna: Not worth it. 

Keina: How do you feel now, though, when you look at your bank account balance at um yeah. How do you feel now when you look at your bank account balance? 

Tavianna: I was like, Can I afford a Tesla? No. Okay. So I can’t quite. But to look at my my bank account balance and to know that I am prepared for things like whatever might happen. So for instance, the other day, I don’t even know what happened, but I got a small crack in my windshield and overnight it feels like that crack spread to like half of my windshield and now I need a brand new windshield. And so in the past, I would have been panicked because I would have been like, how am I going to pay for this? How do I afford this? I’ve gotta put this on my credit card. But now I look at it. And while it’s annoying or frustrating because like, I don’t even know how it happened, I know that I’m prepared to take care of the windshield and I could call and make that appointment to get a new one same day, next day, whenever. 

So I think looking at my account, it feels good to be prepared. It feels good to not feel like if one thing happens, like myself, my husband, whoever, we’re like on our edge, on the edge of our seats, like, oh my God, how are we going to do that? How are we going to take care of it? The preparation and the like planning for what could happen, good or bad, is, I think, what makes me most excited about looking at my account. 

So it is great to be able to see these numbers grow. The one thing that I was super hype about the other day is… When I look at my account, the account that I took money from the pay for this five month intensive, I was like, oh my gosh, it took me so long to get to that number. Like, I think I had, what, $10,000 in there? And I was like, if I take out the money to pay for Keina, I’m never going to get back to where I was. And I’m $300 shy of where I was when we first started. And I have more money everywhere else. You know, I have a just in case of emergency, now I have like a couple of other areas where there’s like a cushion and I feel like my husband and I are ready to take on the world, if you will. But we’re ready for whatever might happen, because not only do we have the skills to do it, but we’ve been consistently doing so for months. 

Keina: Yeah, I mean, like, I think one of the things I always tell people is like, you’re going to make your money back. And that’s where you think like the Keina Kool-Aid. You’re like, mmm hmm, right. 

Tavianna: Right. 

Keina: And because right, if you’re listening to this and you’re like on the fence, right, there’s there’s places right now that you can’t even see that you’re making money. I know when Tavianna and I started working together, she had this one account and it had like, I don’t know, 10,000 jobs. It was very overworked. Labor laws were not not adequate. 

Tavianna: It was exhausted. It was like, help! The account was like, help me! Yes. 

Keina: But it was like being able to, like talk to her and say, okay, like, what are the things like do you actually have an emergency fund, which her and her husband are now shifting the name to just in case because language matters, and then we talked about like you know you want to go on vacation, you have a car, what does that look like? You also want to save for a home, right? 

So we got more clear which gave greater purpose to the money in your life. And then when your husband came on board, I know one of the pain points we recognized is like his income fluctuates. And so with people that have like fluctuating income, whether, you know, depending on how you’re paid at work or whatever that looks like, maybe you don’t get paid if you have days off. So we talked about like let’s actually make a PTO account. So like your family isn’t in a bind when there isn’t a normal paycheck, right? 

Like I want you to be able to take care of yourself. And so we’ve made all of those changes and increased the overall like financial health for you and him because you chose to say yes to something that was uncomfortable. 

Tavianna: Yes. Let me tell you about this PTO account. So I didn’t really understand it because our job works differently. So when I take PTO, I’m still getting paid. His job is not the same. And that way. And so if there is a day off or like right now where he works, something’s gone wrong with the AC, so he has had more time off than normal. And that PTO account, like at first when we talked about it, I was like, okay, sure, whatever, we’re just going to set this money aside and we’ll pull from it whenever we need to. But the way that we’ve approached it has been so freaking thoughtful. Like I’m super hype about it because it’s been, it has saved us in a lot of ways, even in these last couple of months.

So we’ve said like, we want a certain amount of money in there and we’ve been basically paying paying into it the amount that he would get for a day’s worth of pay. And so when we went and took our we took the honeymoon a couple of weeks ago and we’ve kind of been traveling every other week or every week really since Memorial Day. And so to know that we have that account to be like, all right, but our bills are still paid. 

And now if he wants to call out sick or if he needs, you know, a dental, if he has a dental thing coming up, and he has to take the day off for it, we’re prepared to pay the bills. And it’s not like, oh, my gosh, can he miss a day of work, there’s no panic there anymore in the event that he can’t work. So yeah, that’s been life changing for him, for me, for our family. And I definitely think that that’s probably if I had to say like top three things that we’ve learned or done following this partnership that that’s certainly one of them. 

Keina: So C.J.’s on board with my PTO account because I think at first…

Tavianna: He’s on board.

Keina: …he was also like this, this woman is trying to make me do a lot of things. Just tell me. 

Tavianna: Yes, yes, he at first he was like, I remember that first call that we invited him into. And I just there’s a there’s a gif of a woman and there’s like math symbols going in front of her face, like confusion. That was my sweet, precious husband. He was like, I don’t know what y’all talking about, y’all speaking this language I don’t get it, but just tell me where you want the money to go.

It’s still very much like, let me know where you want the money to go. But he’s more involved in the conversation. And so we can come to a decision together, like, okay, here are our goals. Here’s what we said we want to do. Let’s determine where the money needs to be moved and when. He’s on, he’s definitely on board. It took a little bit. But he’s here. 

Keina: Yeah. No. And I always tell people, like, it is definitely going to feel like you’ve been sprayed by a fire hydrant. But if you if you can trust me, I will give you a towel, and I’ll dry you off. 

Tavianna: Yes. Yes. 

Keina: And you’ll be okay because like what you’re doing, you’re building a new muscle. And I want to ask questions to get you to think about your finances differently. To the point of the wig: I don’t care if you have a wig or don’t have a wig, you know. You can have coffee or not have coffee. Do what you want. I just want it to be in a in a way that feels like it’s aligned, right. Or like when it comes to paying off debt, like let’s poke holes in the different scenarios. When it comes to saving money, let’s poke holes in the scenarios because what I want to do is to help you have like behavioral change. And it’s not just it’s not just about a spreadsheet. 

Tavianna: Right. Yeah. But it is also about the spreadsheet. The spreadsheet is important. I just I love that spreadsheet. So yeah, but it’s not simply about that. It’s long term. And so I think I probably said this during our first call and I’ll, I’ll say it again, like this is, it is forever. Like it’s behavior to help us today, tomorrow and beyond. And I’m grateful because I feel like, I don’t know what else I would have done. You know, I don’t know. I was doing my best and still somehow living paycheck to paycheck. And this is the first period in my life where I don’t feel like I’m living paycheck to paycheck. I feel like my decisions are… I’m making healthy decisions about my finances. Again, I’ll say it a million times, just the thoughtfulness behind actions, behavior, the things that you’re contributing to, how you’re spending, and that that makes a difference, truly makes a difference. You see, literally, I see it in my account how much of a difference it makes. 

Keina: Well, even you were talking about like being at brunch and looking at your bank app, like I can’t imagine you doing that now because there comes a point like I’m at a point like I’m not like… Yes, I have a grocery budget, yes, I have a gas budget, right. But if I go over, whatever that means, my house is not getting foreclosed on tomorrow, you know what I mean. Or my account isn’t going to zero. Like, there really is just… I talk about like having a new financial zero and there’s definitely like if my account went beneath a few couple thousand dollars, I’d be like, hold up, wait, somebody is in there, right. 

Tavianna: Right. 

Keina: But it’s not… I could make a decision that was unplanned… 

Tavianna: Yep, yep.

Keina: …and make it fit the plan. 

Tavianna: Correct. It it is. So I think one of my fears about this kind of partnership is, or was, it being rigid and feeling like I was stuck within like these are the confines. This is what you have to do. There is no room for error, but also no room to shift. And that is, it’s opposite of that, completely opposite of that, because like you said, if I go over in air quotes, if I go over in one area, it’s like I’ve never, I didn’t really go over. Like I had I had some money somewhere to make sure that I’m, like you said, your house is not being foreclosed on or no one’s coming and snatching my way off my head. I was look at it as my payments. 

And so it’s definitely a difference in in thinking, a difference in behavior. But I know that it allows me to feel safe when I’m spending, when I’m checking my card at the end of a weekend. In the past, I’d be like, I can’t even look at my account because I know I was out, we got two hookahs instead of one, oh my goodness, like I’m in distress. Now it’s not like that. So I’m grateful for sure. 

Keina: No, don’t let a hookah set you back in your…

Tavianna: If a hookah is setting you back, you are living wrong. You are living foul, okay. 

Keina: Tavianna said it; I did not. What are the results that you are most proud of in the last like eight months? 

Tavianna: Well, one. Is this a big one? I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter. Let me just share. Okay, so the the difference between having one account and several different accounts, I think has… That is something that we did that has resulted in my success. So being able to actually see your money and know where it’s going, not having it all just sitting in that one lump sum and kind of guessing and and figuring out, you know, where the number should be and what’s going on. So I think that has really shifted my perspective, the way I view my spending,  the way I view my saving, the way I view my accounts. By having multiple different accounts that are labeled and they’re set up for my success. So that’s one result. 

I think the other is just my ability to be more transparent about everything related to finances, being able to talk about my money, being able to talk about my money with really anyone who might want to listen. What do they call those people who go around and, what, missionaries? I don’t know, but I’m spreading the gospel of spending your money and being intentional and thoughtful about how you spend it. Okay, catch me outside of your local Target trying to convince you or encourage you to jump on board, you know. That’s how I view it now. I feel like I am willing to engage in these conversations about like where I was, where I am, and where I’m going as it pertains to my finances. So that would not have been the case before. Kind of avoided the conversation altogether. But now like being able to talk about money is, I think, one of my favorite results. 

I guess the last would be my savings. My savings, Having savings, like, having savings that I’m not dipping into when I’ve convinced myself that it’s time to dip into it, like, oh, well, I know the savings is for the house, but you got to get these new towels because they’re plush and they’re on sale. And that’s truly for a house, not the house you want, but for somebody’s house. Like talking myself into spending money, knowing that I should not have spent it and then feeling guilt about it after… That is, I think, another fantastic result of this work, because I’m not dipping into… Because I’ve set my goals and I’ve committed to them, I’m not dipping into the money that I know was assigned or like in place for other things. 

So our house fund continues to grow because we’re not making excuses or not like, oh, we do want to go to New York for the weekend, so let’s just take a thousand out. No, that’s not what that’s for. We have another another account for that. And if there’s no money in that account, then we’ll need to wait. So just how how we, how I approach saving and, like, being serious about saving and actually having something to show for that. So definitely another result that I would say I’m proud of. 

Keina: I would also just add to seeing that result in action when it came time for your wedding, right? 

Tavianna: Yes, yes. 

Keina: Somebody would definitely tell me, Keina, I need to do this after I get married. And you did it in the midst of all that. But just, I’m just reflecting back on you planning for your wedding. Right. And it was like, do we want to use this lump sum of money for the people that are coming to the wedding? Do we want to use it to start paying down some debt? Do we want to use it to beef up savings? Right. Which I just think you did a great job and included C.J. in this, like asking different questions. 

I don’t know, if we hadn’t been working together, you would’ve been like, I need I need this moment and we’re going to figure it out. And you got your moment, but I think you got so much more out of the moment. I think we talked about this on the last episode, even down to one of our calls. You told me about the shoes that you found. And I was like, do you need these thousand dollar emerald green shoes? I mean, I want you to have whatever you desire. But I also heard that they dye shoes at this other place. 

Tavianna: Yep. 

Keina: Or does this. This shoe looks like this other one and it’s still a good brand. 

Tavianna: Yes. And you know what’s so funny? So I ended up buying… I think you told me the the kind of shoe, there was like a, knock off sounds bad, but there was like an alternate version, a cheaper version. I ended up getting those and I wore those shoes for 47 minutes and took them off and put my crocs on immediately after. So like had I spent 1,000 USD on some shoes, I would have been upset. 

Yeah, it just. I think we were able to find a way to still have the things that we desired and not go into debt for them. So we still had a perfect wedding. A beautiful wedding. It was small, it was intentional. It was like super intimate. All of our friends were here. We had shrimp, we had salmon. We had all the things we wanted. And then we’re not trying to, we’re not paying it off now because it was paid for in full. 

Keina: And you went on a honeymoon that was paid for. 

Tavianna: And we went on a honeymoon. Absolutely. So. And we’re still saving for our home and we’re still setting things aside for other future opportunities. So, yeah, I would love eventually a big old $50,000 wedding where all of my favorite friends and family can come and we can can do that, and someday celebrate us. But I don’t think… Now is not the time for that. And that was a big shift in my brain. Now is not the time, because here’s what the impact would have been. So, yeah. 

Keina: Plus you’re going to get a new job because we have new salary requirements for you. 

Tavianna: Yes, we do, indeed. Yes, we do. And one of the things that I… because I told you several calls ago that the “i” key on my laptop is broken and mentally is stopping me from applying to jobs because I can’t do my cover letters in the way I want when the key keeps popping out. Anyway. 

Keina: Excuses. There are no excuses.

Tavianna: Well, it’s not an excuse. It is a struggle, Keina. It is a struggle. But I did… I have a “treat yourself” account I started and so I then I was like, okay, I know I want Mac that’s $1,299. Here’s how much money I have to put away every paycheck to get the Mac. And here’s my goal for having that Mac on my on my desk and ready to roll with the “i” key that fully functions. So there is a plan to get it, and I’m still applying to things in the meantime, but when my “i” key is stable I will apply more often. 

Keina: Well, don’t let the devil tell you you need the “i” key to get you a new job. 

Tavianna: You right. You right.

Keina: So to wrap up our conversation, I’ve two more questions for you. Like, tell us about a setback you’ve had and how you overcame it. 

Tavianna: Oh, let me think. I know they exist. I’ve had setbacks. Let me think, though. Okay. So this is one of the things that… When you get married, you pool your things together and you start to like, his things are my things and vice versa. So one of the things that I did was tell my husband, okay, we’re going to start… So he’s very holistic, healthy. He’s like all natural things. And so that’s his jam. Like he loves the coconut oil pull and a black bean oil and all, that’s him. And I’m like, where’s the doctor? What does the doctor say? I want the… Give me the things that they have. 

Keina: Mucinex. 

Tavianna: Right, okay? He’s like, you got a cough? Come here, I’ve got this oil to rub under your nose, spin around three times, it’ll help you. So that is like, that’s his thing. And it works and it has worked for him. He’s super successful, I think. He has gotten me away from some of the habits that I had where we’re going to more holistic and natural products. But he recently we I told him we’re going to the dentist together. We’re going to go get our our cleaning. We’re going to do the things that we need to do because this is a non-negotiable for me, because we can’t see what’s going on in the mouth. And so we went and found out that he has about $5,000 worth of dental work that he needs to get done. And we did not have $5,000 worth of money for dental work in the account at the time. 

But we sat down, we looked at the plan. We asked very, intentionally asked questions to our dentist to say, like, okay, when does this needs to be done? Like, when can we start scheduling appointments? What’s the deposit? How much do we have to have up front? Things like that. So now we’ve been able to make a plan. His first appointment is first week of July. That’ll be paid off and then we’ll start putting money aside to make sure that, you know, his second and third appointments can be done in a timely fashion. 

But at first when I got the news, I was like, oh, no more oil pulls, you’re going to be flossing on a regular basis. Like I’m laying down the law, but I think I was kind of overwhelmed because I felt like we were in a great place with our finances. And then one thing felt like a major, like a major setback. But also I was like, dang, had we known, we could have been preparing for this differently. We could have been thinking about the insurance only covers this portion. It doesn’t cover that amount. We can only get one crown. How are we… So like all of these things that my brain was like temporarily stopped me from remembering all the growth that we’ve had and all of the like the lessons that I’ve learned over the past few months felt like a major setback. And for a hot second it was, but ended up we made a plan for it. And the teeth are going to be fine.

Keina: Also I mean, I love that your naming… So much of the setback too is also mentally, right. Being able to catch yourself and like the thought patterns and naming like, where am I not seeing the growth that is present?

Tavianna: Yes. 

Keina: And I actually love that one of your setbacks was medical because I think that that’s real. I can’t remember who I was talking to. It was another client. And I was saying that like as people, we don’t ask questions about medical expenses, right? Like, hey, can you actually call the insurance and give me an itemized like what can be expected that I would pay, etc., etc.? Like people don’t realize also that bills are negotiable that are medical or thinking about when it’s open enrollment season, right? Like if you know, I don’t know if the work’s gonna get all done before the end of this year. But maybe we go into a different dental plan because we know next year, in January, you’re gonna get your whole mouth fixed, right. But just being able to make those… Your financial planning impacts even the benefits that you decide to enroll into are like, do I want to use an FSA? And just being thoughtful about those those other pieces. Everything from being willing to ask the doctor questions and then being willing to to look at like, okay, well, how might this impact what insurance or what dental I want to enroll in the next year? I think that we see… We don’t take those opportunities like we we should. 

Tavianna: And that’s exactly it. We were able to because we asked about timeline. We learned that the first two things need to be done sooner than the last thing and there’s a little bit more time. So then we can make sure that we have more money put towards our FSA and there’s a likelihood that I’m going to end up changing the insurance that we have so that it covers a couple more things. So that’s exactly it. Like even he was asking, okay, I don’t necessarily like does it have to be a crown? There’s some other things we looked up like inlays or overlays or whatever, just asking questions that I don’t think we would have asked before. But it’s like, if I’m gonna pay my money toward it, then I certainly want to make sure I’m getting the best deal. But also, his teeth are going to be fine and healthy forever because I can’t have my man in dentures at 35. Not an option, so. 

Keina: I think like I would also add… One of my other clients we were talking about thoughts about debt, right. And I would say if, like C.J. needed heart surgery. 

Tavianna: Yup. 

Keina: It’s very likely that you don’t have heart surgery money saved. But you wouldn’t negotiate, like, do you have like a paper heart? 

Tavianna: Is there um… What about a horse’s heart? Does that work? No. We’re going to get the heart surgery and we’ll pay the debt. 

Keina: Right. Like you like you can factor that into the plan if need be. And thinking about like, okay, we we had to charge this on a credit card, but it’s also allowing the fact that my man ain’t around here toothless. 

Tavianna: Right. Yeah. 

Keina: He’s not in pain. Right. And I think that that’s not encouraging anybody to get into debt, but it’s just being able to shift your thoughts around debt if you are in a position where you don’t have the money. Right. And so just talking, just hearing you talk about like and now we’re going to adjust our plan. And that’s where when I’m telling clients like, hey, evaluate or adjust like it’s about, what does that information provide you that you can use moving forward? 

Tavianna: Right. Right. And as you said earlier, asking questions, just ask the question, because at the end of the day, no, that’s not possible, or no, this is the only option we have or whatever. But if you don’t think to ask, then you’ll never know what the options are because you just took what they said at face value, which I in the last couple of months just asking more questions about my money, where it’s going, what it’s doing and what the other options are has saved me dollars for sure. So I think that’s equally as important as putting the money aside, doing what you got to do, but also asking the questions about the money, too, is crucial. 

Keina: It’s that financial confidence coming through. 

Tavianna: Yes. 

Keina: Okay, last question. So name one action that listeners can take. Maybe like a piece of advice you gave yourself a year ago or even a reminder that you use to keep going. 

Tavianna: So something that I told myself one year ago?

Keina: Or like a piece of advice that maybe you would give yourself a year ago or even a reminder that you use to keep going. 

Tavianna: Yeah. Some advice is don’t let the, don’t talk yourself out of this experience because I, I was going to talk myself out of committing to this time together and I had taken advice from everyone. I talked to my friend, my mom. I was like, this seems like a lot. I don’t really know what. As y’all likely heard in the earlier episode, I was like, what if she’s a scammer? She’s going to take my money and be an abuser, right? Like I was, I was I was stressed and was like talking myself out of this opportunity because it was so much, it felt like so much money at the time. Don’t don’t talk yourself out of it. 

At the end, on the other side of it, there are countless lessons I’ve learned. There’s just a difference in how I approach everything. This impact like it impacts my finances, but it impacts a lot of other things, too. Conversations I’m having at work with my supervisor, when she says she wants to give me a promotion. Great. Thank you. Let’s talk about what that means financially for me, like being being more, asking the questions that I don’t think I would have asked before where somebody gave me an invoice for a balance, and I saw something I didn’t like, I would have just been like, all right, cool, it is what it is. 

Now I’m asking questions like these lessons that I have and the behavioral changes. I don’t I would not have gotten anywhere else. So it feels like a lot. It feels like it feels like it’s too much coming out of your account at one time for one experience. But truly, it’s an investment in yourself. It’s an investment in your future, and it’s absolutely worth it. So I don’t know. I definitely am grateful that even after what was it, we had a second call after the consultation, we had a second call and you were like, well, tell me, tell me, why not tell me what’s stopping you or what’s causing you to pause on moving forward with this? And I was like, oh, it’s just too much. 

I’m glad you didn’t say like, okay, girl, well be on your way, best of luck to you. You were so encouraging and you were so welcoming and open, and that helped me to shift and say, like, you know what? Let me just try this and see what happens. So just yeah, just think about the future, think about the outcome, think about the results and how much better you’ll be by saying yes. So that is the advice I would give myself. 

Keina: I love it.

Tavianna: November, me, October me, whatever. 

Keina: Well, thank you, Tavianna, for having this conversation with me. And I hope that if you’re listening, you got some nuggets. I think Tavianna has presented a lot of questions that whether you’re working with me or you’re on the fence about working with me, wherever you are in this journey, that you can take these questions and use them for yourself because it really is about just confronting yourself about the emotional side of money and asking. I think it’s asking better questions or just asking questions because you’ve never asked questions before. 

Tavianna: Absolutely. Can I give one more shout out before we wrap up? 

Keina: Yeah. 

Tavianna: I just want to say, Brent, I know you’re out there somewhere. Brent G. Thank you for the encouragement, for the support, for the connection, because it is also had Brent not been in my ear constantly like, you know, Keina would help you with that. Oh you went negative? Keina can help you stay out of the red. If, had it not been for him on my shoulder, making recommendations and providing encouragement, we would not be here. But I just want to say thank you again to Brent. 

Keina: Thank you, Brent. I love you as well. I’m glad you said can you give a shout out like we’re on the nineties radio station. Interactive eight at eight. Tavianna is caller number 40. 

Tavianna: Oh my God.

Keina: With that, though, thank you so much for listening. And if you are ready to apply to work with me so you can also give shout outs and experience more clarity with your finances, you can go to www.wealthovernow.com/appointment and I look forward to working with you. 

Thank you so much for listening to Money Files. If you’re ready to take the next step to reach your financial goals, head to www.wealthovernow.com/appointment and let’s get started.

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