Moving Beyond Fear to Finding Joy With Money

Money Files

I’m so excited to share part two of Kim’s transformation. Financial coaching helped Kim reevaluate her finances and develop a new financial standard for herself as she went through a divorce last year.  Before we started working together, Kim was managing her finances by putting everything on autopay. My guess is that you may relate to Kim.  You’re making good money, your bills are on autopay but you desire to be doing more with your finances. 

You can have all of the “right” things in the right place and still benefit from financial coaching.  When I work with clients, it’s not just about creating a budget it’s about changing your relationship with money.  This is the exact work I did with Kim because she wasn’t looking to have a solid debt pay off plan or even a solid savings plan- those things were already set.   She needed to shift her money mindset, her approach to managing her money, and develop a new level of financial confidence as a newly single mom so she could feel control. 

In this episode you will learn…

  • How Kim saved hundreds of dollars by looking at her bank account 
  • How Kim saved $1,000, in less than a month, by making a few tweaks to her mindset and her spending
  • Why our partnership helped her become more intentional about spending money and discover how to spend from a place of joy, not fear
  • How Kim overcame her past belief that she isn’t worthy of money and her fear that her money might disappear 

You can have all of the resources at our fingertips but if we don’t have the tools to manage our income you won’t see the results you desire. Tune into this episode to hear how Kim has shifted the way she views her finances after working with me in a 1:1 partnership.

Listen to Kim’s Money Files Episode

The Transcript

Keina:

[00:00:00] Hello everyone. My name is Keina Newell. I’m a financial coach and I work with professional women and solopreneurs to create new possibilities with their money. If you are tuning in right now, you are joining me for money files. So welcome. Hello guys. Thank you for joining me today is part two of the full journey of what it’s like to work with me.

[00:00:22] And I am interviewing my client Kim. So this is after we’ve actually had an opportunity to work together one to one. And just so you know, she survives and she comes out on the other side with some incredible money wins, wins that have helped her show up as a better mother professional and just an overall woman.

[00:00:41] So. Definitely stay tuned and listen to her story. Hi, thank you so much for joining me for another episode of. Money files. I almost said, thank you for joining another episode of where are they now, which is a totally different series that I just finished in my Facebook group, where I was actually talking to clients, but I am joined today with my client Kim, and this is actually part two of a conversation.

[00:01:07] So you’ve heard part one and you know, Kim’s journey in terms of like where she started. And we were able to capture like, What are the feelings and some of the things that arise before you start working with financial coach and yeah. So now Kim is going to. Give you the behind the scenes and tell you about all that changed since we actually had an opportunity to work together.

[00:01:29] So, Kim, I’m going to hand it over to you and let you introduce yourself.

Kim:

[00:01:32] Thank you again for having me. Oh my gosh. It’s been a few months since we’ve worked together and I have to tell you I’m in such a different place now, mentally, financially, and just, just from like making little tweaks that. I learned through our time together.

[00:01:49] So for those of you listening, I am in Reston, Virginia. I work in the tech industry. I was previously in financial services where I worked for capital one, and that’s where I learned about money coaching as a concept for the first time. But I never actually invested it. In it until I actually left the company and you know, it just went through some more personal life transitions that required me to actually stop putting my finances on the auto pilot and actually take a hard.

[00:02:23] Cold hard, look at things, um, with keynotes help. But yeah, so I worked in marketing global brand strategy for an internet infrastructure company now and earn six figures, which is great, but I still felt very worried and anxious about my finances. And that’s probably because I grew up in a very unstable family and household and my childhood.

[00:02:51] Was just filled with unpredictability, including finances. And I think that feeling just kept following me through adulthood. Even though objectively I was stable, I was making my own money, whatever. So anyways, so that’s kind of where I was when I came to kina and was just like, Keno, I followed you in it and you have this awesome event coming up, going to do it stared and join.

[00:03:19] And from there, I was like, okay, I need to invest in this because I need it. Um, and it’s just been an amazing journey, even though, like it was a one month intensive and then you, let me kind of like, Fly off on my own after that

Keina:

[00:03:35] visual of a little bird leaving the nest. So one of the things, when we first chatted, you talked about you are someone who you pay all your bills on auto pay to an extent, right?

[00:03:48] Like you are managing your finances because none of your bills are past due, but one of your reflections was about like, realizing that there was like a leaky bucket. What were the leaks and what are some of the shifts that you’ve made that like, now you, I imagine you look at your bucket now, you know, where the holes.

Kim:

[00:04:07] Yeah, exactly. So I had this, what I call like a false sense of security almost. And maybe that’s why I felt anxious to begin with when we first worked together, was that all of my bills. My savings, 401k, retirement, all of that. I’ve automated them. And that’s just like, from a psych psychological perspective where I was like, I don’t enjoy paying bills.

[00:04:31] So let me just automate it, set it and forget it. Right. But the downside of that was that I was still paying for things that I did not even know. I was still paying for literally years later. So. One example that came up and came up top of mind for me and was like a huge win was a few years ago. I had these, all these crazy business ideas, right.

[00:04:57] That I never really acted on. And so I went and bought all these domain names, like so many of them. And of course, you know, they always trick you with that like intro period trial period of like a year or two. And then when it expires, you know, the costs go up right. And. While we were working together, I got very intentional and actually like again, kept the fears away of actually looking at the numbers and dug through all of these automated payments and found that I was literally just like two or three days away from an automatic renewal with.

[00:05:36] Or URL, domain name, company. I don’t want to say the name because I do work in the industry, but one of the. Company is, was going to auto renew, like $500 plus worth of products that I didn’t even need. So imagine if I had just, again, followed my like usual set it and forget it autopilot and did not work with you.

[00:06:00] I would have, I would have paid for $500 worth of stuff that one didn’t need, but also didn’t even know that I was. I was being set up that way. And that was just like a one example, but I saw other things, like I was getting charged a monthly fee for a savings account where I was banking with that institution for literally over a decade now.

[00:06:26] And I was able to call up that my bank and say, Hey, I’ve been a loyal customer. I’ve literally been banking with you since. I graduated college, or even when I was in college, why are you charging me $15 a month? And it was just like these small little things that I did not intentionally pay attention to previously that really looking back just made up so much, you know, a bigger total, like, I, I saved more than a thousand dollars that month just from blocking these like automated.

[00:07:04] Quote, unquote leaky bucket items. And that wasn’t even me being, you know, not spending or, you know, increasing my income in other ways. So. That was like already like a huge win without doing anything. Just like keeping my bucket from leaking water instead of getting another bucket. Right. Well,

Keina:

[00:07:25] I mean, I feel like ringing up here is like a, a mindset shift that I think people who are listening, like you have to check yourself on it.

[00:07:32] Right. And I always encourage people. Like I have automated bills as well, but just because you have automated bills doesn’t mean that like, everything is okay. And I actually, one of my friends, who’s a financial advisor. We’ve had a conversation even saying like, just because you can pay all of your bills doesn’t mean that like, everything is okay in terms of where you are financially.

[00:07:54] And so being clear on your numbers has a lot of different wins. Like you’re saying you probably saved a thousand dollars and I did some quick math while you were talking to think, like, if you’re paying $15 a month for. A checking account or savings account, whatever that is. And you do that 12 times, 12 times during a year, that’s $180.

[00:08:15] You do that for five years. It’s $900. And sometimes we discredit like, Oh, well it’s just $15 or it’s just $5. But it’s like, what is the cost of that over time? And I don’t have any like things to run an analysis for, but like, Would you rather put that $180 into some, something else that you value or your goal or your goals, or like, is that money you actually want to put into retirement?

[00:08:40] Like, I don’t know, $900 over five years. I don’t want it to be going to the bank in fees that like, I don’t actually desire to be paying you.

Kim:

[00:08:50] Yeah, exactly. And I think parallel to that because I was becoming more intentional about. My automated bills or payments. I actually also, as a result, as a direct result of that intentionality was I was being more meaningful with my spending as well.

[00:09:14] Which one thing that I love doing is actually. Like just buying gifts, Willy nilly. And whenever, you know, like for Christmas, for example, for the holidays, I actually buy gifts a year round. When I see something that reminds me of somebody, I just buy it and then it just sits there and I forget to actually give it to them.

[00:09:35] It’ll just sit there until I find it again. Right. And so now I’m like actually being more intentional about what I buy. And when we walk through like giving every, everything a name, I forget what you call it, giving every dollar a name, you got it, dollar a name. I actually now have like a slush fund, which in my work, which is crazy because in my work I manage an entire regional budget and I’m really good at it.

[00:10:02] But for some reason there, there’s just like that disconnect to my personal life where I’m just like, ah, I’m so scared of looking at the numbers because no one is holding me accountable for it. But so with you holding me accountable, I became more intentional. And that intentionality actually just. Sort of amplified into other areas of my life as well, where everything from gifts to do people in my life, but also just my spending on myself and making sure that I was actually spending on things that gave me joy versus just spending because, you know, reactively, I wanted to buy something or, you know, whatever.

Keina:

[00:10:44] What do you think the fear is there? No,

Kim:

[00:10:47] that’s a great question. I don’t know. I really don’t know. I think. Looking back again. I was conditioned when I was a kid. That money was. Only for rich people and money was bad and we did not have any money. So everything that you spent on one, I wasn’t allowed to ask for anything.

[00:11:13] Like if I saw a gift that I really wanted, I was actually punished for even wanting it. And so I think there was a lot of shame around money. There was a lot of guilt around it, but also my entire financial education growing up was that. Money was bad. We didn’t have any, and people with money are greedy.

[00:11:34] And so I think I’m sure like if there was a psychological reason or theory behind it, I’m sure that played into it. But as an adult, I think the fear was that I wouldn’t have any money and. If I just, it’s kind of like sweeping things under the rug because I was automating everything. I had that false sense of security or knowledge, but the fear was twofold.

[00:12:00] I think that I wasn’t worthy of making more money and. I was also afraid of losing money at the same time. Like, it sounds weird, right? Like there’s no clear cut answer, but I think that’s where the fear was for me.

Keina:

[00:12:16] So like, uh, like if I look at it, my current status

Kim:

[00:12:21] might change in some way. Yeah. So for example, I think when I first joined the money and mimosas event, COVID had just begun.

[00:12:33] Like the media was like exploding with like unemployment and all of that. Right. And I just started getting so anxious that I was going to become homeless. Yes. It was something that in the late eighties, my dad, who was the breadwinner at the time, his real estate business went bankrupt and we were homeless for about a year living out of.

[00:12:58] All of these half built properties that his company had, you know, just started developing and then losing to the banks. And so I immediately went into that anxiety, anxious, fearful space, even though rationally and objectively, I was in a really good place. Like I was expanding my role at my company. I was.

[00:13:18] Making good money. And at the time I was also a dual income household. So all of these things where there were so many emotions and I let those emotions take over rather than being very objective with my money. But also because I didn’t. Forced myself to look at the numbers, to calm myself down, you know, or like to talk me off the ledge.

[00:13:41] I just let myself being fearful or be fearful. And I think when I saw, like I was following you and when you, you know, you offered up your services and things like that, I was like, okay, you know what I need. Step away from my emotions and actually talk to other people. And suddenly I felt less alone, but at the same time, I also felt like, okay, I’m doing okay.

[00:14:06] Like I’m not, you know, it’s in my control. And I think that was the biggest takeaway for me was that, yes, I can put things on autopilot if I want to. But also, yes, I am in control of my money and of what I want to do with it. It’s not just. Automated, like I don’t have to put it on autopilot. What would you

Keina:

[00:14:27] say is like the feeling now, when you think about your finances, as opposed to like earlier this year,

Kim:

[00:14:35] what’s been the shift.

[00:14:36] I think the biggest shift for me is one confidence. And that came from reminding myself that I was in control and the confidence has been huge because. Previously, like I said, I was on autopilot, like bills paid, whatever, you know, 401k messed out, things like that. But my biggest goal was actually to invest more of my money and actually make it work for me.

[00:15:04] A lot of my money previously was just sitting in a savings account. I did move a lot of my savings now to a high yield savings account, but I was still, again, going back to that, like feeling of fear. I was afraid to invest because of all of these fears previously, where I was afraid of losing it, I was afraid of, you know, being homeless or whatever.

[00:15:27] But again, that rational perspective of, Hey, now I’m intentionally spending my money and now I’m actually putting that $500 that I saved from that auto renew. I actually redirected that into my investment account and. As you probably know this year has been amazing in the stock market. And so in the past five years, my overall stock portfolio increased by like a hundred plus percent.

[00:15:59] But half of that was this past year. Just this past year. Um, so imagine that, like, if I had, if I had had more confidence before this year to actually invest in, you know, $15 a month or $25 a month, or even $500 all at once, like, I don’t even know where I would be today, but again, just trying to, like now I know better so I can do better and not.

[00:16:27] Not stay in that sphere, full anxious space that I was previous

[00:16:33] to

Keina:

[00:16:33] this as you’re talking one of the things I remember too, because I always like to help people think about like, what are the things you value? What are your goals? I think that helps at least when I’m engaging with clients, because I don’t want people.

[00:16:47] To come to, like, they’re going to come with the shame, the guilt and the overwhelm. And I want to center everything on like the things that they desire and what their strengths are that you like, you bring to the conversation. But I remember out of like our first call, you had a lot of goals. But then by probably like our second to third call, you were like, yeah, I know I had all those goals, but now I’m like rethinking whether or not those things mattered.

[00:17:14] Yeah. Like it was like, I’m going to buy a new car, buy a new car. Like there was like, just, I feel like in the course of a couple of weeks, even just your clarity about where you want to go really

Kim:

[00:17:26] shifted for sure. That again goes back to like the intention and like being really intentional. Like, I love that we.

[00:17:38] Like previously, people were like, Oh, you know, like you should do this and you should do that. And like, I wanted to buy, yeah, exactly. I wanted to buy a new home. I want to buy a new car and all of that. Right. And then actually, when we started working together and you really got me thinking about what mattered to me, one, I realized.

[00:18:03] My ex really wanted that new car. Like not me. I am happy with my hybrid. Honda’s 2011 Honda civic. Why? Because it’s paid off. So, you know, and it’s a hybrid. So I pay like $75 a month for gas. Like I don’t want to pay more. Like, that’s not something I value. Right. And then the other piece was like buying a home.

[00:18:27] I actually love where I live now. I live in an apartment and like today I had a realization. I was like, Oh, if I get, I don’t even have to, you know, go out there and sell like, just little things like that, where again, like building that confidence. But as you mentioned, that clarity and intention for me was like, Everything working together, you know, and now I’m like so much more confident where I’m like, I don’t need a new car because I’m confident that I don’t, because I truly believe I don’t need a new car because I’m happy with my decision.

[00:19:05] And it goes back to like that sense of control and that playing into the confidence that I feel now, and being very intentional about where I want my money to go. And that’s where. The money that I, I could have spent on a new car is now going into my stock portfolio. And that actually, for me, my end goal that we had talked about in our first conversation was where do you want to be in 10 years?

[00:19:32] I hadn’t even thought about that. Like, it sounds so sad. Right. But

Keina:

[00:19:37] a lot of us haven’t thought about it to be fair.

Kim:

[00:19:40] Yeah. You know, like you really forced me to think about past my current situation and you know, COVID is going to go away at some point. Like the, the financial. Goal for me in 10 years is going to start today by me planting the seeds.

[00:19:57] Right. So for me, my goal is to retire early by 54 years old and buying a car now is not going to help me with that. And so I was like, wow, that like mindset shifts, you know, it was like, okay, I I’m so good with putting this money into my stock portfolio now. And. It’s it’s just been amazing. And by me being more confident and having more clarity of how she talks to my girlfriends about this, and they are now thinking about reaching out to money coaching and like opening up and they were asking me like, wow, what’s the money coach, you know?

[00:20:34] And so like, By me shifting my own behaviors really helped other and other women specifically really shift or actually think about and talk about these topics too. What

Keina:

[00:20:48] could that the Kim that came to mimosas and money matters? I was like, let me make my cocktail.

Kim:

[00:20:57] Yes. Oh my gosh. Like, I, I cannot even tell you how. It’s just been amazing. Keynote. Thank you so much. I am going to cry if we keep, just ask me another question quick, quick, quick.

Keina:

[00:21:17] What was it? Oh, what was I going to ask you?

Kim:

[00:21:23] Oh my gosh. Okay. So let me tell you, when I use the word, the analogy of planting the seeds, that’s actually something we. Actually put money aside for it is. My growing plant collection. Yes.

Keina:

[00:21:40] You’re one of your, one of the greenery.

Kim:

[00:21:44] That is something that actually has helped me as well during quarantine. You know, I don’t cook.

[00:21:50] I don’t like I don’t enjoy cooking. And yet in the past, I always felt guilty about not enjoying cooking, but now like working through our values, my values, things like that. Again, that confidence that. I’m going to put a stake in the ground and proudly claim. I do not cook. I don’t enjoy it. So, but I enjoy plants and previously, I mean, I killed plants constantly.

[00:22:18] Like I either underwater or overwatered them, or, you know, whatever. Like, I was very inconsistent, but because I, again, like became more consistent, more intentional with my finances, like I said, like it amplified and had this like halo effect to other areas of my life, including my plans. And I’m not just.

[00:22:40] You know, it’s just been amazing. And I know it’s, it’s weird, right? Like, why is she talking about plants, but. It’s something that I value. Yeah. And I just became much more consistent and detaching myself from the outcome because now I’m confident that whatever I’m doing day to day is going to help my finances, my plants, my life grow.

[00:23:04] And as long as I just like show up and do what I need to do consistently, then I’m not, you know, like even my stock portfolio, I’ve been. Religiously putting in small amounts every day, increment learning and looking back since, you know, February, January. Yes. My stock portfolio has grown so much, but again, it didn’t happen overnight.

[00:23:25] Another thing that was life-changing for me and still hard for me to do was. That you wanted me to intentionally celebrate my wins. I never did that because I grew up in a family where you were just supposed to do what you were supposed to do, and then you move on, right? There’s no like golf clap or applause for you or anything like that.

[00:23:51] And. I learned to be my own cheerleader and supporter and relied less on other people. And that really helped me with my confidence as well. So yes, you were money coach, but again, like the. The change and transformation, just watered through to everything else in my life. Like it was just amazing.

Keina:

[00:24:18] I mean, I try to, I tell people all the time, I’m like, when you get your finances together, it touches so many different areas of your life.

[00:24:25] And I think sometimes we don’t realize how much space like our brain is taken up, thinking about money, even like, I mean, you’ve highlighted, like I make good money. I have my bills on auto pay. Right. But there’s still some amount of like underlying stress there that. Was keeping you from like flourishing and some other areas of your life that like now you’re like, Oh, you know, I, I can show up and be more confident in other places.

[00:24:49] And I can be more deliberate, which I would imagine feels much more in alignment with that.

Kim:

[00:24:54] Yes. Yes. I think that we’re deliberate. Really helped me build my confidence again, because again, like I I’ve been, I’ve been lucky in my career that I’ve had a lot of mentors, supporters and people who really helped me through my career, but I never had anyone help me through my finances and.

[00:25:19] My income has increased by three times in the last five years. And I mean, I’ve also jumped ship a lot and that’s how I’ve increased my raises. Right. But my financial personal financial skills did not follow that path, that growth path either. So it was like, I was excelling. I was making more money. But then didn’t know how to manage it.

[00:25:44] Well, deliberately and this past year was just like, I just like, up-leveled everything.

Keina:

[00:25:52] How has this like, cause I feel like there’s going to be some women too, that can relate to you that may like been going through a separation or even being like a mom, I guess. Like how has that, how has this journey touched?

[00:26:06] How you show up for yourself as like. Being newly, like single and being like a mother at the same

Kim:

[00:26:15] time. Wow. I want to be intentional about my words on this, because, so again, growing up, I zero financial literacy education from my parents. And not only that, culturally, I am a girl and in my culture, in the Asian culture, women are just expected to marry and.

[00:26:38] Basically live off your husbands or husband family’s income, right. Or salary. And I was never taught to manage my money other than saving it and not only saving, but literally like hoarding it. So when I separated earlier this year in June, I had my own money, but I was still very. Like that cultural upbringing of having someone to depend on was still very strong in me.

[00:27:10] And I think that, you know, going back to that question of like, why did you feel fear? I think it was just like, again, like that’s what I was brought up with. And in the last six months, just taking more control, building up that confidence and talking to my kid about money as well. She has three books about savings spending and giving actually.

[00:27:32] And I mean, she’s awesome. She, she even, she even has like a little unicorn bank now because, because I was talking about this to my girlfriend. So it was a gift from one of her aunties actually. So she actually like, she has a much. I want to say healthier view about money. We also do not just buy gifts every year for her birthday.

[00:27:55] We encourage people to either donate to her five to nine plan or to donate to a charity of their choosing rather than give us toys or, you know, Um, books or anything like that. And so whatever toys she has is usually hand from Facebook marketplace or anything like that. But also if it’s bought brand new, she knows that when she’s done playing with it, she will have to pass it on or give it to someone else.

[00:28:22] So for example, This past year, her and her dad actually went to toys for tots to give away some toys. And so I think as a mom for me, because I’m aware now of the education that I lacked and the knowledge that I now have, I am adjusting that to teach my kid because I want her to. I don’t want her to be in the same situation as I am, you know, but also as a mom, I am now much more, yes, intentional, but also like less shameful and guilty about celebrating myself.

[00:28:58] Like I work hard. I worked hard to get to where I am. I deserve and worthy to celebrate myself. I don’t need my, you know, a man to buy me flowers. I just bought flowers myself and. Plants

[00:29:16] and. Like for me, I just realized I don’t need to buy a big brand new car because that’s not what I’m about. Like, I really love, yes, just my plants and my little notebook and my little flowers and bass and whatever, and celebrating that. Has also helped me be more confident and bring up my self esteem because now it’s like, again, like I’m not seeking that external validation.

[00:29:44] It’s me, myself, celebrating myself. But also as a mom, it’s important for my kid to see that it’s okay to celebrate. You were, you know, I grew up with my mom’s suffering in silence and not asking for help and all of this. And a lot of it is gender, but also culturally driven. But, you know, I joke that my kid is my broke best friend, but she actually has over $20,000 in her college savings plan.

[00:30:14] Now. Simply just because we’ve asked people to contribute to her five to nine plan. She even knows how to sign a check to deposit in her savings account because of these books. And it just gives me so much joy to see that she’s already thinking about these concepts. Um, and we tend to underestimate how kids, how much kids can learn and observe from.

[00:30:41] Our everyday behaviors. And I’d rather, again, instead of her observing, my actions are not inactions. We’ve actually, again, that going back to like that intentionality, I’ve actually been intentionally talking to her about money and about thinking about others and things like that. I

Keina:

[00:30:59] love that. I think that like, Finances is just so important.

[00:31:04] Like how can you incorporate that in your life? Once you get into your life, if you have kids or influence kids in any regard, even if they’re not your oldest, like bringing up that money conversation. And I totally underscore and support, don’t buy the kid a gift, do a five 29 donation. I was actually having that conversation with my godson’s mom about like, I mean, if somebody is going to buy a $10 toy, just take the $10 in, put it in the five 29.

Kim:

[00:31:32] Yeah. Five years. No, she’s five now. Okay. So no, at least four or three years ago, one of her babysitters or her providers at the time actually gifted her $20 of Apple stock, which of course it’s a fractional share. Right. But she owns Apple stock. I owned it. A stock when I was her age. But you know, even that $20 and three years just sitting there is now $60 or so, I mean, again, like.

[00:32:05] You know, just sitting there versus in a savings account, losing out on inflation. Right. Well, I think,

Keina:

[00:32:11] I think it’s about the conversation and it’s like about the entry points. I always say that it’s like about building the habit and oftentimes we let money be the barrier as like, well, I can’t save because I can’t.

[00:32:28] I don’t know, I don’t have enough to like build an emergency fund and I encourage people like say $5 a month, save $5 every paycheck. Right. But because you’ve created the space for that, when you have the opportunity to save more, you will, because you’re like, you’re building this muscle and. You’re letting your brain know.

[00:32:49] And like it’s in your priorities that like saving is a priority of mine. And so even just like hearing you reflect on it, I could imagine someone listening to say like, well, I don’t have a caregiver that’s giving my child stock or whatever, but like, how do you do little things to change the narrative?

[00:33:04] In situations that you can control. And so, like, I’ve heard you talk about, like, you’re talking to your friends more about money and you’re bringing up these financial conversations. You’ve extended an opportunity to family and friends to say, Hey, and we love buying my daughter gifts. Here’s something else that we’re considering.

[00:33:21] So just thinking about like, sometimes those small shifts that we can do that just have yield like really great outcomes and results.

Kim:

[00:33:30] Yeah. Yeah. And I think I really believe in, you know, giving back. And that was something that I realized that was missing from my current financial life. That was actually a value and gold mind to give back.

[00:33:50] And I think when that happens, you know, for example, I keep laughing about this, but so. During our months working together because I moved into the new place. There were my separation. I went and bought pots and pans. I hate cookie. Like I didn’t even touch it for like, A month. And so it was just sitting there unused, and I actually brought the pans back to target and got like $50 back or something like that.

[00:34:24] And I used maybe $25 of that money to buy gifts for my kids, teachers, and the smile that they had on their faces were just. I mean, her teacher told me separately that we were the only ones that year, this past summer to give her a gift. And like that to me gave me so much joy rather than just, you know, spending my money on a pot or pan, because I thought that that was what I needed to do.

[00:35:01] You know, I don’t know how to explain or even articulate this in a way that is more, I don’t know, like. More compelling, but for me again, that intentional, like redirection of my money without, you know, I, in the past, before working together, I would have just let those pots and pans sit there and then go by.

[00:35:25] An additional guests and spend more money rather than actually taking the time and an intention to return it so that I could use that same money and redirect it somewhere else. So it doesn’t sound like a lot, but again, like over time, Throughout these last six months, it’s just been like a huge shift.

[00:35:44] And now I don’t even spend on things that don’t matter to me to begin with. So I don’t have to return anything, but I don’t, you know, that I’ll forget about,

Keina:

[00:35:55] I think what you’re speaking of is like financial awareness and I think financial awareness shows up in a lot of different ways. It sounds like over the last several months, right?

[00:36:04] Like you are just, you are being more aware of where is your money going from little things like, Oh, interesting. That’s a charge. I didn’t know. I had to, I don’t actually like cooking, so maybe I’m, you know, I’m not spending money at the grocery store, but I’m spending money on eating out. And so just being able to, like, not say I’m spending grocery money and eating out because it’s like a.

[00:36:29] A construct that I think I’m supposed to like cook. Yeah. Like somebody can come over my house and me not have pots and pans or whatever that is. And feeling more, feeling confident in being able to say like, yeah, I don’t cook, but don’t worry. I got a big budget. Like, what do you want order it? Yes. And so I think you’ve, you’ve defined that for

Kim:

[00:36:50] yourself.

[00:36:52] And just as a parallel to, you know, the concept of give every dollar a name, because I started doing that, I now give a use or a purpose to everything I buy. And so I didn’t, you know, like a plant. It doesn’t have a use, like really objectively, but for me it gives me joy. So that’s the purpose that I spend on it.

[00:37:19] Pot and pan? No. So, you know, like I’d rather spend that $40 or whatever on giving a gift or having a plant than. Buying a pot and pan. And that to me, felt, and still feels so much more aligned and intentional and more purposeful for me, which I wasn’t doing at all before we met and worked together. Okay. I got two

Keina:

[00:37:45] questions for you.

[00:37:46] This might be a, not a hard shift, but. Tell us about like a setback you’ve had like a financial setback you’ve had and how you’ve overcome it and like stuck with the process.

Kim:

[00:37:57] Yeah. So the biggest setback for me this past year was whew, I’m getting emotional, but the huge, the biggest setback was in my personal life.

[00:38:08] As I mentioned, I separated, it was a huge decision, but I did. And. Being able to do that and not be stuck and feel powerless and helpless and hopeless was in itself. Something that I want for all women, right? Like everyone, but especially women, because my first job out of college was interning at a family law firm and.

[00:38:41] Women were primarily the ones left destitute or penniless or, you know, financially averse in a divorce and women are also disproportionately impacted when they retire as well. And that, um, just studies and facts. It’s different factors. Like we outlive men. We also. Tend to just, again, not manage the finances as closely as we should be.

[00:39:10] Right. And so I think the biggest setback was again, quote, unquote, having a failed marriage or what I thought was a failed marriage, but how I overcame that was just again, celebrating that I am where I am and I could do better because. I can now have more control and direct insight and management over my finances.

[00:39:41] And that actually came about even when I was, I mean, I’m still legally married, but even when we were living together, other than our mortgage, everything was separate. And that actually helped so much when I separated. And you know, we’re working through things now, but. That actually helped me a lot because I knew at a very high level where I was and, you know, everything and moving forward, it was more about us splitting the costs where I’m actually getting money back.

[00:40:16] Now, like for example, I was paying my kids’ tuition fully previously, but now my ex partner and I are splitting the costs and I’m okay with that because now. We again, like are much more intentional about our money while I still have more control over things. Um, so I think that was my biggest setback this year and just like overcoming it for sure.

[00:40:43] And I think knowing that I can rely on myself was a huge mindset shift as well, because now I’m fueled by a different kind of motivation previously. I was. Always constantly like making more money, getting raises, things like that because. Just for the sake of it, you know, it wasn’t, it was just like an, a, like a drive.

[00:41:09] Yeah. Because that’s what I grew up in again, like that’s what society, the expects of you, right? Like just growing and making more money. But now I’m like, okay, I am growing more money and using money as a way for me to retire early, as a way for me to start a business, you know, or as a way for me to.

[00:41:29] Actually enjoy my life and actually spend my money in ways that I feel happy with. Why? Because I know that the rest of my finances are, you know, I’m good. You know, like all of that, like I have a strong foundation that is only getting stronger.

Keina:

[00:41:50] So last question. Is there anything that I should have asked you that I didn’t.

Kim:

[00:41:59] Sorry. I’m like choking. I don’t know. I don’t. I think you’ve, I think you’ve asked me a lot of things that I would honestly never share openly normally, but. I believe so much in your work and what you’ve helped me accomplish and what you’ve helped, how you help your clients is. I mean, amazing. And I even was listening to, I think it was a recent money file about how someone went bankrupt and, you know, really got everything back on track.

[00:42:39] And now my mindset is. Again, like going back to that confidence building. Right. I think if you had asked me if I came to you bankrupt, not in a good place. I think if you had asked me, like, where do you see yourself a year from now? I would have actually, now that I’ve worked with you, I would have had the time, the confidence to say, Oh my gosh, I’d be a different person.

[00:43:06] Kanaan like an actually believe in it. Whereas if you came to me, you know, even six months ago, I was a completely different person. And I was like just reactive and fearful and anxious. And now I’m like a year from now. I will. I will hit my first five figures in my business. I, in five years I get my first million.

[00:43:33] And again, I think that confidence in my personal life translated through to my professional, uh, my business entrepreneurial life. You know, now I’m like if I ever do get homeless, you know, if I now have the confidence. That I will be okay. Because I have my six months emergency fund. I have the skills to rebuild myself.

[00:43:57] Where in, if you asked me that six months ago, I’d be like, Oh my gosh, I, I probably will just have to stay in my marriage and rely on my, on my partner’s income. Until I can get back on my feet and now six months later, I’d be like, I’ll be okay. Um, you know, I’m good. I got myself to this place. I got help.

[00:44:18] I’m in control. I have the best team. Like I call you guys my 18, you, my lawyers, like my kid’s teacher, like everybody. Right. And I think, again, it comes back to that intentional halo effect. Like the more I talked about money, the more I talked about my goals, the more I talked about my values. I started to bring people together, like complete strangers online, you know, like just sharing the same values and, um, supporting each other and lifting each other up.

[00:44:53] So I think that’s a question that maybe, you know, you didn’t ask, but if you did ask. It would be a completely different answer six months ago till now.

Keina:

[00:45:05] Awesome. Well, that’s why I love the work that I do because I literally get to watch women transform, which for me is incredibly inspiring. And this year I’ve worked with a lot of women that.

[00:45:19] Either a recently divorced or they’ve been divorced for a while. And just to think about like how they shift and how they get to show up for themselves and believe things about themselves. That I don’t think that they were believing about themselves before we worked together. So that’s incredibly encouraging.

[00:45:36] Cause I’m like also, I think all the women I work with are very like type a individuals. Like we have, I mean, people have degrees, they have money, they have these things that are seemingly all of the right things. But when it comes to managing their finances, there’s like a disconnect. It’s like, okay, these two things don’t align.

[00:45:57] But being able to watch all of you guys like. Figure out where things go and start asking yourself different questions. Um, it brings me a lot of joy because yeah, eventually it gets to a point where you guys are asking questions and I’m like, Oh, look, you’ve taken over your entire life. I work here.

Kim:

[00:46:17] It has. And I even hit one of my savings goals this past month. I think it was, but I didn’t even realize that I hit it until I actually sat there and had a money date with him because I have money dates with myself. Now, nobody said nobody died. I know, I know, but he died, obviously I’m still alive, but, but I also got added to an investing group and I am the only woman in it.

[00:46:45] It’s all men and I’m the only woman. And that also builds a certain kind of confidence as well, because I’m like, okay, like these men are not patronizing. They added me to this investing group because they actually think that they have something to learn from me. And for me, it’s like, Yeah, some crushing the patriarchy.

[00:47:06] Right. But also I am living and investing based on my values because that was a goal for myself, was to invest more and build that confidence in myself to actually invest my money rather than just being. You know, again, automating autopilot with, with my, um, disposable income. So I’ve been having a lot of fun and learning a lot and fun fact women are better investors than men generally, because we do not react to market trends and we buy and hold and stay the course.

[00:47:44] So. So, yeah.

Keina:

[00:47:48] Thank you. Well, thank you so much for chatting with me.

Kim:

[00:47:50] I appreciate it. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done. Not just for myself, but just, you know, for so many women and men. I know you have male clients too. Yeah. There’s a few out there. Yeah. So thank you. Thank you so much. And yes, just from now, it’s going to be great.

[00:48:10] Oh, my gosh, I, I hope I’ll be in you’re aware. They now series nuts

Keina:

[00:48:16] are planning for next year series.

Kim:

[00:48:19] Exactly.

Keina:

[00:48:21] I just love it. That you made it to the end of this episode of money files. I hope some part of today’s story resonated with you and showed you the power of coaching today. I’m inviting you to take the first step and book a one-to-one call with me.

[00:48:35] We’ll discuss. What you’re hoping to achieve with your money, where you need support and how I can help you reach your financial goals faster than you ever could alone. Go to www.wealthovernow.com and book a call once again, my name is Keina and thank you again for joining me. Also stay tuned for the next episode.

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