In this week’s episode, I’m introducing you to my client Kim in a special two part episode. I wanted to share Kim’s story in two parts because her story of transformation started before we even started formally working together.
In May, Kim joined Mimosas + Matters which is a free group coaching call I host once a month. From the outside looking in she was joining a group of complete strangers to talk about finances. BUT what you’ll learn is how one coaching call helped her start peeling back the layers of her personal money story and grounding herself in what is true with her finances.
In this first episode, Kim shares her personal money story and the childhood experiences that caused her to fear her own finances, despite being a six figure earner.
Tune in to learn..
- Why Kim has always felt anxious about her finances
- How being a six figure earner has attributed to her avoidant behavior
- How she shifted her mindset on the group coaching call
- Why she committed to look at her numbers and go beyond just automating her bills
You’ll want to tune into this episode if you’ve ever wondered how talking to someone else about your finances could help you take action. Kim’s story will show you how choosing to say ‘yes’ even when you’re uncomfortable can lead to a transformation.
Listen to Kim’s Money Files Episode
The Transcript
Keina:
[00:00:00] Hello everyone. My name is Keina Newell. I’m a financial coach and I work with professional women and solopreneurs to create new possibilities with their money. If you are tuning in right now, you are joining me for money files. So welcome. Hello today. I am joined by my client, Kim. I actually thought it’d be really fun to take you guys through a two part episode.
[00:00:22] So this is part one. I am talking to Kim before we’ve ever engaged in working together. The only thing that she’s done is a, my mimosas and money matters. So she is going to tell you about her full journey from start to finish. So C2. Hi, thank you again for joining us. I am joined here with Kim today and I am actually doing this is going to be a really fun episode because we’re going to record it in part.
[00:00:47] And Kim came to a Moses and money matters. Live group coaching calls. Several months ago and we’re actually going to start working together next week. So we haven’t even started working together yet, but I was like, Hey Campbell, will you come and have a conversation with me? Because I want to give you guys as many different angles to changing your relationship with money and creating new possibilities with your money and being able to connect and relate to other women that are going through some of the very same emotions and experiences.
[00:01:19] So, Kim, do you want to go ahead and introduce.
Kim:
[00:01:22] Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. So, yeah, as you mentioned, I have no idea how I found you. Probably, you know, some very technical, magical algorithm on Instagram, but I found out about your group coaching call and at the time, this was probably right when the pandemic hit.
[00:01:43] And I just started feeling so anxious and not even like a new type of anxiety around money, but more of like a heightened state of anxiety around finances only because I grew up poor. And for a very long time, it took a very long time for us, for our family to recover. My father lost his real estate. In the Canadian housing bubble and we were homeless for a year.
[00:02:09] And so I feel like that anxiety has been with me for a very long time. And it’s, it’s just so ingrained. And so even though I was, you know, I have savings, I have retirement and investments and things like that. And I was employed full time. I’m still employed full time. Constantly stressing out and anxious.
[00:02:28] And I saw the group coaching call and I was like, oh my gosh, I am super scared about talking about money with literally like complete strangers. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Like we had, you know, I’ve only seen you through the screen. What to expect, but I was previously in financial services with capital one.
[00:02:49] I worked on launching in the capital one cafes. And so I wasn’t new to the concept of money coaching. I just had never done money coaching myself. And I was like, okay. This is the time for me to just talk it out. And so I joined and it was kind of like group therapy about money and it was nonjudgmental and I felt literally less alone even though physically, you know, I think there was like about five women on the call
Keina:
[00:03:20] at the time.
[00:03:21] Generally, I would say there’s no more than 10 of us. Yeah.
Kim:
[00:03:23] Yeah. And everybody had very different backgrounds, different jobs, but we were kind of just all relating to each other, like, oh yeah, yeah. And also like encouraging each other, like, yeah. Girl, like totally hear you. Like, I feel like that too. And I, I got off that call and I was just like, oh, I don’t need this cocktail anymore.
[00:03:41] I’m feeling. Like, I remember, like I was
Keina:
[00:03:44] mixing my cocktail. I mean, it is common. Most of the money matters. So you came appropriately
Kim:
[00:03:51] also like trying to manage my kid in the background. I mean, it was like full on work mom mode. It was just a great call. And then just, uh, about two months ago, I am going through a separation now and impending divorce and the anxiety.
[00:04:07] You know, started rising up again because now I’m going from a two income household to a single income and I just needed, I just needed like, uh, like to assemble my, a team. I had my lawyers, my bosses were great and supportive. I think I read somewhere that women are actually the most financially hurt and divorces.
[00:04:31] And obviously. Where, you know, the statistics are out there, right? Like compared to men were under usually underpaid, you know, and that all catches up to us. And I think for me, because I tend to internalize things and don’t talk it out. I was just like, I need to call Keno. Like, I just need to, like, even though I booked that coaching call, like I was ready.
[00:04:54] Like I knew I wanted to work with you already because you were coaching me on the group coaching call ready. So it was honestly, I didn’t even need that group. One-on-one consulting call. If you just emailed me and was like, Hey, here’s, here’s the contract. That’d be like, yay. Okay. Let’s do it. That’s kind of like where I’ve been in the last few months and you know, what, how I came to you.
[00:05:19] That was a lot.
Keina:
[00:05:21] Internet state is amazing. I, I do not like social media, but I have loved it as a business owner and being able to connect with like a lot of different ways. That are all over the world and you just so happened to be in my area. Like, I think I could throw like a rock towards your house and get it, but going back to the coaching call, do you remember?
[00:05:46] What were you actually coached on in that call?
Kim:
[00:05:49] Yeah, so I talked about, and I, I felt a little guilty about this because I felt like I was talking about a first world problem. I am a six-figure earner, so that makes me a quote, unquote, higher earner. But, you know, I don’t, I did not, or I do not feel stable.
[00:06:07] I still feel that underlying. Like dread and anxiety. And you know, the reason why I was able to even pay my bills on time is because I automate everything and I thought I was being proactive, you know, automating my savings, automating my retirement, which is great. I was very avoidant with my money. Like anything leftover I would spend for me.
[00:06:35] I don’t cook. Okay. I out loud, I don’t cook in my marriage. Probably what led to us separating. I cooked maybe 10 times throughout the entire decade,
[00:06:49] love food, but I don’t like cooking it. And so I spend a lot of money on food and eating out. And now that it’s just me. I feel like I’ve been spending a lot of money, like a hundred dollars on, you know, on, on a few meals rather than $50 on groceries for a whole week. Right. So I was spending a lot of money, but I wasn’t sure how much I was spending really, but it was kind of like a false sense of security and stability for me because I’m like, oh, well, that’s fine.
[00:07:18] I automate my savings. You know, I automate my retirement, so I’ll be okay. But. You know, for me really on that group coaching call, you held me accountable and you were asking me about all these numbers, like, okay, have you looked at how much you spent the last week? Or some, some form of question like that?
[00:07:37] And I was just like, oh, No, because someone else,
[00:07:47] and it was just like, it was like a mind shift or minds. Like what is it like a mindset shift for me because of. Okay. Just because you’re automating things doesn’t mean that you actually have control or insight into anything you’re getting avoidant and reactive. And so all of these questions that you’re asking me and holding me accountable.
[00:08:11] I followed up with a spreadsheet afterwards. And for me it was just like, okay, I’m going to spend Friday night actually staring at these numbers and really facing them, you know, and like facing myself and my behaviors and things like that. So, yeah.
Keina:
[00:08:28] I’m like smiling really hard right now. Cause I remember you being like, I’m going to spend Friday night with my numbers and I think your feedback to me, you send an email to say.
[00:08:40] You felt very empowered, which for anyone listening, I would invite you to even just join that live group coaching call. It’s free. It’s all about having a small community, but I want people to be able to like, think about their numbers from a place of like empowerment and joy. And Kim, you touched on like, you know, I’m a six-figure earner and I am still dealing with.
[00:09:03] I had came in and I felt guilty. There was this dread and anxiety. And I think, regardless I say this all the time, regardless of how much money you make, if you don’t actually address your relationship with money, like those things aren’t going away. And I think sometimes we think they’ll go away when we make more.
Kim:
[00:09:19] Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like I felt like it was, and I think I use these exact terms in my group. Coaching call with you guys. I said, like, I feel like I have a leaky bucket with my finances where if it’s not automated somehow, like if I will just spend it and it’s not, it wasn’t always like, like I don’t spend it on clothes.
[00:09:43] I don’t spend it on, you know, like frivolous things, quote unquote. I spend it on food and you know, like big ticket items, like a designer bag that I probably used, like twice, which eventually, but like, things like that, that I again, was working on like autopilot and. Staring at the numbers made me feel much more proactive and empowered.
[00:10:11] Like you say, even though, like from a linguistics perspective, I do have a hangup with that word because it implies that we didn’t have power to begin with, but it’s more of like reclaiming that power, you know,
Keina:
[00:10:25] it’s what you said. It’s a mindset shift. It’s shifting your thoughts around. Whatever. I feel like that.
[00:10:32] Shifting your thoughts around that barrier, that you have that perceived carrier, that you have to start doing. The thing that you know, you want to do. Like whether I had a call, we had another live group coaching call a couple of weeks ago, and someone was talking about. And I was asking her, you know, what are all the things you feel about it?
[00:10:50] And just reframing that thought about what you feel about debt, where it’s like, well, I feel like this is the very thing that’s holding me back. And I’m like, no, your thoughts are holding you back. Right. So you can shift that. It gives you access in like the brain space. I think to start diving in, to see.
[00:11:09] Like, is it really actually as bad as I think, or like, do I have the capacity to really start to break this down into steps that I can do that are bite size? That will move me forward?
Kim:
[00:11:20] Yeah. Yeah. And for me, like, again, like objectively, I. Like those, not that those nothing for me to worry about, but like having that voice of reason from you and you know, other women and just kind of like help me walk off the, like, get off the ledge a little bit.
[00:11:41] I worked really hard. For years and paying off my student loan. And my goal was to enter the twenties with no debt. And so like no student loans, no car loans, things like that, which I met. And I think in the back of my head, because I have no debt, I’m like, that’s fine. You know? Not helping me. It’s not helping my daughter in any way.
[00:12:06] And the reason why I reached out to you to work with you one-on-one with your one month intensive is precisely because I am spending Willy nilly and I’m like, oh my gosh, I, I need someone to just hold me accountable. Like talk to me reason with me and create and do so much more with my money than, than what I’m already doing.
Keina:
[00:12:29] So I want you that I want Kim to give you guys like an insider perspective. I haven’t done a conversation like this. So Kim book, the call, we had the call. She also said she didn’t need the call. She would have been. So
[00:12:45] what should somebody know that maybe hasn’t been to most of the money matters? That’s going into that call with me to talk to a complete stranger about their
Kim:
[00:12:53] finances. Yeah, I think, um, there’s like a hashtag that you use or, you know, someone uses with like, just doing something, like do it scared. And for me, like, it was so hard and I can’t imagine someone who.
[00:13:10] You know, for me, I used to work in financial services. So by all means I should be comfortable talking about money. Right. Because that’s what I did, but I wasn’t, I was so scared. And I think it’s because we’ve been conditioned to view money as this like scary taboo thing, but I just did it scared and it was just so liberating to talk to people.
[00:13:34] Who were in the same boat, you know, in various ways, but who are also so encouraging and supportive. And it was very therapeutic to, it was even though it was just what, like a 30 minute or even 45 minute group coaching call, it was like, I was immediately. Not anxious after that call. Like, I, I didn’t even need to drink my cocktail.
[00:14:03] I just felt much more relieved that, you know, I wasn’t. I wasn’t the only one I’m scared of money. I wasn’t the only one who, who was on the call for the first time. I think that was another first timer. And so I think women we’ve been raised and I’ve been raised with three younger brothers. And you know, now as an adult, I look back and I’m like, there is so much truth to how society.
[00:14:30] Conditions women to be risk averse, especially with money. And I think that as women, you know, the more we band together, so the more, just the more awesome we will be. And so if anyone is scared, I really encourage you to hashtag do it scared because it was just so I felt like I could do anything after that with my money and.
[00:14:55] I just felt much more confident because I did something that I was really scared about. Like it was, it was very therapeutic.
Keina:
[00:15:04] So Kim and I, like I said, we’re going to start working together in the next week. And what are you most looking forward?
Kim:
[00:15:12] Well now, you know, all my numbers and I know my two statements and I was like, I spent how much on this.
[00:15:20] And you know, for me, it was just like, even though we haven’t started working together, I’ve already made some moves in terms of like optimizing my money. Like I saw that I was being charged. Like, I think it was like $4 or something for using a credit card payment, like recurring payment model. And I actually linked it to my bank account and it doesn’t sound like much, right.
[00:15:45] $4, whatever. Yeah, it all adds up. And it just, because now I like went through that fear of looking at my numbers, you know, sharing my numbers, talking about my numbers. Like, it just became easier for me to be more mindful about not just where I am currently with my numbers, but where I want to be like my goal.
[00:16:08] Like I already have a goal in mind that I want to talk to you about next week. Eight $10,000 by this time next year. And I’m already thinking through like, where can I cut back? And where can I plus up in terms of savings? Like I went earlier this week and I increased my savings. By each paycheck by 5%.
[00:16:31] And I did that because I was like in that mind set already. And so even though we haven’t formally worked together yet, like I’m getting ready and it’s like, it’s like a domino effect, you know? But also because I want us to have a productive conversation next weekend,
Keina:
[00:16:52] peanut I’ve laid all it. I’ve laid it all out,
Kim:
[00:16:57] but yeah, I think it was just like a snowball effect. Like. The minute that I did something scary, joining, talking about money with strangers, like, it just became easier for me to look at my numbers and look at my numbers again, and really look at my numbers again and actually do something.
[00:17:14] And, you know, so yeah. That’s,
Keina:
[00:17:20] I am so excited. So I’m so glad that you said yes, Keno, you can talk to me cause I wanted people to see. Like, this is the journey. Like Kim said, we have not started working together officially. We’ve exchanged some DMS on Instagram. I know that she’s returned some things to target.
[00:17:37] She’s saving money.
Kim:
[00:17:42] I was like, what are these things from target? They still had their labels on it and everything. And I checked, you know, the return policy and it was like, Ooh, 90 days. And Ashley, I think it was like $45 worth of just a dress in like a pan. Again, because I don’t cook. Like why did I get up in, I
Keina:
[00:18:04] don’t cook.
[00:18:05] No, you’re supposed to have a pan. So I’m going to get this
Kim:
[00:18:11] money was actually buy flowers for my kids, teachers and a card because it was her last day in pre-K one. And, you know, for me like spending that money on something worthy and meaningful to me and spreading joy to someone who may or may not have been forgotten or overlooked, you know, And seeing my kids, teachers face expressions.
[00:18:34] When I walked up that day, I was like, Hey, here are the flowers for you. And they were just like, what? Huh? That to me, it was just so priceless and like more than just saving money, more than just, you know, having more money to invest. I’m really looking forward to spending my money more meaningfully I know.
[00:18:54] This is a little embarrassing. And I shared this with the women on the group coaching calls. I have, I’ve never had a budget in my life, never. So I’m looking forward to having a question. It’s crazy because I deal with budgets at work every day. I just dealt with a budget meeting just now. And so again, like, just because you talk about money in your work life.
[00:19:17] It’s really forced me to look at money and be comfortable and not judgmental to myself. Either seeing that other women weren’t judgmental towards me made me loosen up my own judgment. Like I, I feel like as women we’re so harder on ourselves and as a Virgo too, I’m like super self-critical. So I’ve, I’ve become more timed with myself in a way.
[00:19:45] Well, I
Keina:
[00:19:45] am so excited to dive in. I’m so excited for anyone who listens to this, because I think so many women are going to be like, Kim, I’m you you’re me
Kim:
[00:19:54] pat, on the group. Coaching call. Wait, you too. Oh my gosh. And you know, there’s just. I dunno, it almost felt like, you know, when you’re younger and you go to the clubs or something, you and like everybody is friends in the bathroom.
Keina:
[00:20:14] Hey girl, you need to take that.
Kim:
[00:20:21] That’s similar sentiment. Bonding with a random stranger
Keina:
[00:20:28] best description ever. And I also just thought I liked my club attendant that has like mouthwash. What else? Girl, you need a tampon. You don’t have a tampon,
Kim:
[00:20:40] you have toilet paper on your, on your, you know, sticking out. Like, let me help, you know, like all of that.
[00:20:45] And it just felt. I just felt very awesome. Like for lack of a better lack of a better word.
Keina:
[00:20:53] Well, we’re going to continue this conversation and Kim can give you all of the inside details, but thank you for letting us know what the before and what leads up to this. And I’m just excited at all of the things clients talk about all the time, but like, you know, I started filling out my client profile and it’s just made me already start to think about.
[00:21:13] Money in a different way. And people always ask me like how soon will I see results? And I think sometimes we think about the results as being like you were saying in a year from now, I want, you know, $10,000 saved, but there are so many results that come up until that point, that help you get to some of those bigger goals that you have for yourself and sustain the practice that you want and the relationship that you want with your.
Kim:
[00:21:37] Yeah, for sure. For sure. Like returning, unused things that target,
Keina:
[00:21:43] I love the fact that you pointed out. I did something else that like brought someone else to joy. And I talk a lot about like values and goals and spending money. Yeah. Being able to spend money in a way that feels in alignment with who you are when it not all being from this place of scarcity.
[00:22:01] So yeah.
Kim:
[00:22:02] Yeah, definitely. Definitely. All right. Well, anything else to say. No, no, thank you for giving me this opportunity to hashtag do it scared again, to talk about it. And I’m super excited to dive in deep with you next week, because like I can’t escape, right? Like
Keina:
[00:22:23] it’s gotta be like another therapy session, so don’t worry about it.
[00:22:26] It’s going to be great.
Kim:
[00:22:28] We’re going to be on video. I have to, like, I don’t know, have, have like a fake picture of me if I start ugly crying, because I’m an ugly crier. Like I will sob and you know,
Keina:
[00:22:42] oh, well, I don’t think I’ve had anybody price, so I think there’ll be good.
[00:22:49] All right guys. Thanks for joining. I just love it, that you made it to the end of this episode of money files. I hope some part of today’s story resonated with you and showed you the power of coaching today. I’m inviting you to take the first step and book a one-to-one call with me. We’ll discuss what you’re hoping to achieve with your money, where you need support and how I can help you reach your financial goals faster than you ever could alone.[00:23:16] Go to www.wealthovernow.com and book. Once again, my name is Keina and thank you again for joining me. Also stay tuned for the next episode.
