Why It’s Not About Proving Yourself To Make More Money

Money Files

Are you stuck in a cycle of proving yourself? It’s common to hear someone say that they’re going to “prove themselves” in a new job before they ask for more money. Or that they need to “prove themselves” when starting a business before getting more clients or charging more for their services. I hear this from my clients all the time. They think they need to prove themselves to be worthy of more money.

I want you to understand you do not need to prove yourself before you make more money. Instead, you need to shift your mindset and your belief in why you desire to make more money.

Today, I’m talking about how mindset shifts, giving purpose to money, and a dream budget are the keys to making more money. I’m asking you to stop thinking that you need to prove yourself and start getting clear on your why. Why do you desire more money? I want you to truly believe that you deserve everything you want and more.

In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • How “proving yourself” in a job usually translates to you overworking yourself [01:13]
  • Shifting your mindset to believe that you are capable of making more money [04:49]
  • Remembering the purpose of money in your life when your brain makes you think you’re being greedy [06:25]
  • Seeing for yourself that you are deserving of more and how that changes your relationship to your finances [08:15]
  • Looking at the big picture of your values and goals in relation to money [10:38]
  • How a budget and mindset shift help you when you get off track [13:09]
  • Why you should be in community with other people having conversations about money [16:26]
  • Thinking about the specific ways it’s not true that you have to prove yourself to make more money [19:20]
  • The five-step process I use with my clients [20:11]

Tune in to this episode to understand why proving yourself in order to make more money is counterproductive to your goals.​​

In the episode “Why It’s Not About Proving Yourself To Make More Money”…

Have you ever felt like you needed to “prove yourself” in a job? After getting a promotion? When growing your business? When deciding what to charge for your services? Thinking this way is actually a limitation to you making more money.

“Proving yourself” usually ends with you working overtime or taking on extra projects, which means that a raise or a promotion isn’t actually bringing you more money. Think about it. When you break down the extra hours you spend proving yourself—whether it’s 60 or 80 hours a week—that extra time means you’re not making more money.

People tend to feel greedy when asking for more money, as if it has to come with the expectation of giving more time, or proving that you’re worth the raise. I want you to understand that your experience is valuable. The work you have done in the past, the jobs you have held, the clients you have worked with—these are things that bring you more money. They are proof in and of themselves without you having to overwork yourself.

Making more money is not about proving yourself. It’s believing in your value and being clear about your money goals. And this is how you do that:

Give purpose to your money.

I cannot overstate the importance of giving purpose to your money. Financial visioning can help you get there. When you have clear goals around your money, when you can visualize your dreams, it will be a game-changer for your relationship with your finances. You will have more confidence in your spending, and you will be able to course correct when you get off track.

Shift your mindset.

Believe that you are capable of making more money. Believe that your experience is valuable. And when your brain wants to tell you that you are greedy, remind yourself of the purpose of money in your life. When you believe that you are deserving of more, it changes how you approach money, both in your personal and professional life.

Look at the big picture.

With financial visioning, you’ll create a dream budget that aligns with your goals. This is important when it comes to making more money. Why do you want to make more? Get really specific about what you need and what you desire.

Talk about money with other people.

Whether it’s hiring a money management coach or being more open with friends and family, it’s important to talk about money because it reduces the stigma around making more money. Maybe you were raised to think that money is evil or that you’re greedy if you make a lot of money. Make an effort to engage in more transparency around money. Talking about it makes it less taboo.

Here are the takeaways that I want you to remember from this episode…

  • You don’t have to prove yourself to make more money. Overworking yourself actually has the exact opposite effect.
  • You have to believe in your value and that you deserve to have more money. Quiet the voice that’s telling you you’re greedy.
  • Give purpose to your money and look at the big picture of why you desire more. 
  • Talking with others about money lets you see the possibilities that are out there, and it makes money feel less taboo.

Ready to stop proving yourself and achieve your own financial vision? Apply to work with me, and let’s start working towards your financial goals.

Transcript for “Why It’s Not About Proving Yourself To Make More Money”:

Hi and welcome to Money Files. I’m Keina Newell from Wealth Over Now. I work every day with professional women and solopreneurs to help them get out of financial overwhelm and shame so they can experience more flexibility and ease with their finances. Are you ready to gain confidence and learn to manage your finances intentionally? Tune in and grab financial tips that will help you master the way you think about and manage your finances. 

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Money Files. I am going to be honest with you, I have zero notes and I am recording this episode from the top of my head right now because I think it’s something that we need to talk about and you need to hear. The predominant thought that I need you to hear is that you don’t have to prove yourself to make more money. 

This shows up for clients. It showed up for myself. It shows up in my friendship circles. I was talking to a friend this week and we were actually talking about how much money she desired to make. And she has a job offer that she accepted. And she told me, when I get into the job, I’m going to prove myself. And then I can make more money. And I told her, no, you do not have to get into the job, prove yourself and then make more money. I broke it down. I said, let’s just say, for instance, you go into this job, you go and prove yourself, which equates to you working 60, 70 or 80 hours a week. Right. And let’s say that you do get more money as a result of proving yourself. If we break it down by hour, you are not actually getting more. You’re just overworking yourself. I wanted her to be able to borrow my belief in her. I also wanted her to recognize that all of the work she’s done up until this point in her life is valuable. And so often what we believe about our ability to make more money is wrapped up in the thought that we have to prove ourselves. I just need to do a little bit more work. Let me work with a few more clients. Once I figure out the process then I can charge more. 

And the number one thought I want you to hear today is that you do not need to prove yourself to earn more money. When she was thinking about how much money she wanted to earn, she was thinking about it from a number that sounded good, a number that was just more than what she was currently making. And I say this to you as someone who has taken myself through the process that I teach clients and figuring out what would it look like for me to earn more. If you listen to the podcast last week, I can’t remember if it’s last week or the sequence of when these episodes will come out, but when I’m talking about dream budgets and when I’m talking about financial visioning, part of why I talk about that work with clients is because I want you to break down and destroy the belief that you have about money and how much money would be enough for you. And I want you to know, like, what financial life you actually want to craft. 

I worked through a budget with my friend and I just said like, I just want you to write down like all of the things that you want to be able to spend money on and what does that look like for you to be able to save money? What does it look like for you to be able to travel? And as we were talking about it, she sighed. And I realized that right now, like where you are financially, you might hold some heaviness and some overwhelm when you think about expanding and making more money. And that heaviness may show up in your shoulders, it may show up in your chest. But I really just hope you hear me today. And I want you just to invite yourself, give yourself permission to make more money. And I want you if you didn’t listen to that episode, I want you to listen to that episode and really think about what would it look like for me to earn more? Because when we got to the number that she actually desired to earn, it was more than she originally thought. 

But I also told her, like, I want you to feel confident with wanting to make this much money. And I want you to feel confident with making … I want to say we got to about the fact that she would need to make $115,000 a year is where she ultimately would want to be to live the life that she desired. But what I also know is true for her is that she may not see other people around her making that much money. And so it was scary to think about how would I make that much money without having to do more or without having to prove myself? And I offered to her that she was going to do it by changing her thoughts. She was going to do it by holding belief that this was possible for her to make this much money. To hold the belief that she doesn’t need to prove herself. That she already is capable of earning this much money. That she has a purpose for this much money in her life. Because I wanted her to build within herself the capacity to have. You’re not asking for permission when you ask for more money. You’re not asking for permission when you have a salary in your head that you want to earn. It’s like you are already doing that work, and even if you haven’t seen that other people around you are doing that work. I want you to think about like, why do I desire to earn this amount of money? And take your brain there. And when your brain wants to tell you that you are greedy or you don’t want to be too greedy, I want you to take yourself back to the purpose of money in your life. 

I had a similar conversation with a client of mine, my client Chelsea, who recently just took a full time role, and when we were talking about the full time role that she was going to take, I remember her telling me that she, like, asked for $80,000. And don’t quote me on that exact amount, but I asked her, well, why did you ask for $80,000? And she started to talk about the fact that she didn’t want to sound greedy. And I was like, What does that mean to sound greedy? Like, how is asking for $85,000, $90,000, $150,000. How is that greed? And it really came from thoughts that, you know, in childhood, listening to her parents talk about money. And I can relate to that as well, because my parents have never made the amount of money that I’ve made. And when I talk to my parents—less now because I preface like this is how we’re going to talk about money—but less now. I definitely grew up with the narrative that you don’t need a lot of money to be happy. You know, we have money to be able to give back to other people. And so there was definitely this air of money is evil. And that making more money could potentially make you a bad person. Those words were never said directly in my home, but it’s kind of it’s the stories that I picked up from listening to my parents talk about money and just that whole narrative. And even, I know I’m going off on a tangent right now, but when I talk to my brothers about money, I am pushing them. I’m like, no, we’re making six figures. This is what it looks like. 

Recently, my brother was going to accept a job that wasn’t … It was basically a lateral move. And I was like, no, you’re not taking that job. We will not accept that amount of money because like you are deserving of more. And I want you to see that for yourself. And for me as a coach, for me as a sister, for me as a friend, like, I always want to be seeding that belief in other people because regardless of what the result is or the outcome is, by seeding that belief like it’s going to change how you show up for your finances, how you show up in terms of what you desire to create in the world. And I want to be in alignment with people. I want people to be in alignment with feeling really confident about creating more money. And going back to my client, Chelsea, I mean, I took her through the same exercise of like, what do you actually desire to create in your life when it comes to finances? 

Because it’s not just about paying off debt. It’s not just about saving more money. It’s not just to get to a status quo. Like you want to be able to live a life of purpose. And for so many of my clients, I would say that they’re very like heart centered, purpose driven people. They are family oriented, they’re mission driven, whatever that is. And so I’m like, yeah, when money gets into your hands, you’re going to be able to do fabulous things in the world. You’re going to be able to change like generational narratives. And so like, that’s the work. The work just isn’t about making a budget, creating a budget. And so when Chelsea and I sat down to actually look at her dream budget, it was like, yeah, you want to make six figures. Like, This is the life that you desire to create for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being able to have money for clothes, being able to save, being able to know that at some point if you want to buy a house, that you have options, that you have choices. And by way of that conversation, she got a role that’s now paying her six figures. And I will continue to push her and everyone else around me. Not to say that six figures is the goal, but I want you to know the why behind your numbers. Your numbers have purpose. And if you’re always thinking about money only in the capacity to say like, I just want to be able to do a little bit more, or I just want to be able to pay down a little bit of debt … You’re not looking at the big picture. I need you to get up away from what you think you know to be true about money. And I need you to think about what is my why, what’s my purpose, what are my values, what are my goals? And like, that’s where I’m starting with clients. 

Because you’ve probably heard me say, it is not about like … I don’t care, buy the latte. I’m probably going to meet you for the latte. Right? Like the latte isn’t the thing keeping you, like, stuck with your finances. The way you think about money is keeping you stuck with your finances. Most of the clients that come to me, what they don’t know is that they are not thinking about their long term financial plan. And I am not talking about the one that you set up with a financial advisor, but I am talking about like what you actually desire to do in your life. I had a consult the other day where I was talking to my client and she—because she’s now my client—I was talking to her about like, yeah, what happens after you pay the debt, right? Can you tell me what happens after you pay the debt off? And she’s like, I don’t even know because I’ve been so stuck and fixated on just paying off the debt. And so I want to create the opportunity for you to dream, to think about what’s next. Like the debt’s not always going to be there. And so if you knew the debt wasn’t always going to be there, what are you going to do? If you knew that the fear of money wasn’t always going to be there, what would you be doing with the money in your life? I hope that you will take the time to truly consider that, because when I am talking about working with me as a coach or being in a room with me, whether you’re at Mimosas & Money Matters and you’re in my life group coaching call, or you’re on a webinar with me, whatever that looks like, like I want to shift your thoughts about what you currently know about your finances. Because when I can help you shift your thoughts, you’re going to have compound results. 

When I’m thinking about the reason that I can say to clients like this is the last time you’re going to have to learn how to budget. It’s because you’re going to shift how you think about money. And in shifting how you think about money, when, not if, but when you get off track, you’re going to have a strong why. I am going back to my plan because these are the things that I know I want to be true with my finances. I am going into my boss’s office and I’m going to craft this conversation and communicate with them about how much I desire to make. Because I know my purpose. I know my why. This is not about proving myself. It’s because I have purpose for my money and I desire to create something more. So I am doing a little bit of rambling and a brain dump, but I just had to get on and record my thoughts for you right now because I don’t want you stuck with a thought that you need to prove yourself to make more money. And I think that this thought is so tightly attached to also what you think is a lot of money. 

So one of the things that’s interesting to me is that we all like just, you know, think about this. That’s a lot of money. What does that mean? Like, everybody has a different opinion on what a lot is. My grandmother would think about what a lot of money is different than what my mother would think about, or even what I would think about a lot of money being myself, right? Because we have three different experiences. And so I bring this up because I talk to people all the time too, when they’re talking about a lot of money. And I’m like, What is a lot? In my conversation with my friend the other day, she talked about she was going to get a hefty bonus and I was like, What’s a hefty bonus? And so she, I think, mentioned that she was going to get, like $1,000 bonus. And the reason I asked her what a hefty bonus was is because I wanted to actually ground in what does that $1,000 do for you? Because when my clients tell me they get bonuses, I said, consider the fact that you’re going to get 50% of that actually in take home pay. Right? So say you get $1,000 bonus, you’re really getting $500. What’s the purpose of $500 in your life? What would that do? Right. And the same is even true when we’re thinking about I see people talking about that when they get a $10,000 raise. And I’m not saying that $10,000 can’t shift where you are financially, but I want you to ground in what does that $10,000 actually do for you? Because if it really looks like $5,000 by the time, you know, they take taxes out and it’s spread out over 12 months, it changes the situation. And if you are really thinking about you wanted $10,000 after taxes, then you would really want to go for probably a $20,000 raise. 

But it comes back to once again grounding in the purpose of money in your life. Because when you can actually look at what’s the purpose of money in my life, where do I want to be financially? Then you can start to reshape the narrative of how much money you want to make. It’s also why I would say it’s important for you to be in community with other people and having conversations about money. I know that money is so taboo, but when you start having conversations with people about money and a lot of my friends can tell you I’m like, So how much you make? how much you getting paid, right? I just want to ground in numbers. I was an educator for so long and I went to school for management and finance. So before I became a teacher, I like interviewed with businesses and specifically in the oil and gas industry because I grew up in Oklahoma, went to college in Oklahoma, and they were paying coming out of college $55,000 a year and giving signing bonuses. That was like the nature of the job offers when I came out of college, in addition to when you went on these interviews, they would give you per diem, they would give you you know, they would pay for your flights like they wined and dined you. 

And so when I went on an interview for a school, I was like really taken aback that they weren’t trying to wine and dine me. And why aren’t you giving me a per diem? Why aren’t you paying for my flight? And I actually end up saying something. The reason I could feel really confident as well saying something is because I had had that experience and I had that knowledge that other industries are doing those things. And I say that, that when you’re having conversations with other people, whether they be people that you’re directly connected to or people that you’re like in terms of friends or colleagues or just being able to even read books that may be about finances in terms of earning more and earning potential or whatever that may look like, then it’s going to just help shape your own narrative. And so when I talk to my friends, when I was like, you know, they’re still in accounting, they’re in oil and gas. When they talk about bonuses from their company, they’re talking about getting shares like of stock. They are talking about getting bonuses that are equivalent to someone’s salary. Maybe it’s $80,000, maybe it’s $100,000. 

And as an educator, my brain was so baffled by that because that’s not what they do in that nonprofit space. But because I was in conversation with them, my brain is also curious about, Hmm, I know you all say you don’t do this, but like, how do I make that true for myself? Or how do I desire to navigate differently? Because I know that there are different options when it comes to earning more money. And I never thought about me having to prove myself. I just put all the thoughts from other people, had all this evidence, and I looked for evidence of people making more. And I think that my approach to the world and my approach to finances and my approach to money in that way served me really well as a business owner. Definitely in the beginning I learned a lot about pricing and have learned a lot about pricing along the way. But just thinking, if you are listening to me and you are in business for yourself, like how you think about money and if you have the thought that you need to prove yourself to earn more money, it’s like, how is that not true? And like, think about the ways that you’re leaving money on the table because you have that thought. 

Let that settle in. So I’ve said a lot of things and I know this is probably the third time that I said I was rambling, but I just hope that at least one thought that I’ve said today or one thing that I’ve shared is just helping you rethink how you want to engage with finances in your own life. And I also want to offer that if you’re listening to this podcast, it’s not by chance. I want to invite you to take the step to work with me because I really, truly want to help you change your relationship with money. And with my clients, I walk them through a five step simple process. They identify their why. They identify their values and goals. They create a spending plan, and they evaluate and adjust. And within those five steps, we’re able to help them think about like, what is the purpose of money in my life? And by being able to craft that, they’re able to create peace of mind, they’re able to create financial security, and they build the confidence that they know how to manage their money and they’re able to touch on anything that is standing in the way of them actually having the financial life they desire. So if this resonates with you and you are ready to invest in yourself, you’re ready to say, like right now, I want to prioritize my finances over anything else. I want to invite you to apply to work with me at www.wealthovernow.com/appointment. 

So if you go there, you can pick a time. We’ll have a 45 minute call. If you’re thinking, oh my goodness, that sounds like the scariest thing ever. As many podcasts as you’ve been listening to and you’ve been listening to the sound of my voice, it is really just going to be a conversation like the one I’m having with you right now where I want to give you the space to share the problems that you have with your finances. And I want to present the solution that’s going to help you actually create joy when you think about your money and shift everything for you. So I look forward to working with you and I will talk to you next week. Thank you so much for listening to Money Files. If you’re ready to take the next step to reach your financial goals, head to www.wealthovernow.com/appointment and let’s get started. 

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