Overcoming the Emotional Side of Money with Jackie

Money Files

Today I’m introducing you to my client Jackie.  Last year, Jackie reached out to me for financial coaching because she wanted support navigating a series of life events (newly divorced, maxed out credit cards, and she’d just purchased a new home).  These events made her feel frantic and insecure about her finances. She wanted to flesh out a plan so she would know what to do with her money.

In this episode, you’ll hear Jackie reflect on how she learned managing your finances was about so much more than a budget.  Within the first few weeks of our partnership Jackie had a budget but she was not experiencing the financial shifts she desired. She was consistently spending on food, toys for her daughter, and things for her home to drive temporary positive feelings. As a financial coach, I could see exactly how Jackie’s thoughts about her finances and her circumstances were keeping her from the results she desired most – to feel financially stable. 

I’m sharing Jackie’s story today because it’s powerful.  You’ll hear her tell you the ups and downs of our five month partnership.  Our financial results do not have to be linear (and oftentimes they aren’t) to be transformational. The beauty in Jackie’s story is that in the last year she’s learned to trust herself and she’s built a solid financial foundation that is now supporting a life she loves.  She’s learned to love herself through the “mess” and hold on to the results she desires. She’s learned that she can trust herself and celebrate all the wins in between. 

Tune into this episode to learn:

  • When Jackie learned her thoughts create her results about any situation (even money) 
  • How Jackie has learned to make more intentional money decisions 
  • How Jackie has learned to depend on herself 
  • How Jackie reflected on purchases she has made and used these lessons to drive her financial results 
  • Jackie’s number one tip for anyone else in a similar situation 

No matter where you are in your financial journey you’ll want to tune into Jackie’s story.  Through our five month partnership I was able to support Jackie in seeing that money is 10% technical and 90% emotional.  You might find yourself needing this same support.  If you’re ready to change your thoughts about your finances apply to work with me.  I can promise you the journey will be worth it.

Listen to Jackie’s Money Files Episode

The Transcript


[00:00:00] Hello everyone. My name is Keina Newell. I’m a financial coach and I work with professional women and solopreneurs to create new possibilities with their money. If you are tuning in right now, you are joining me for money files. So welcome. Hello, thank you for joining me for another episode of money files today, I’m joined by my client, Jackie, and I want to let you guys know.

[00:00:22] I have a really, really soft spot in my heart for working with women who are going through a divorce or separation. There is something that is just incredibly moving about. Seeing women really just being able to shift in a season of their life. That can be incredibly tough. And so you’ll want to tune into Jackie’s episode.

[00:00:46] She’ll tell you about like the moment when everything shifted for her. And actually it wasn’t even within the first like month that we started working together, but Jackie has done phenomenal job. She is still doing a phenomenal job in working the plan that we created. So tune in to see what’s worked for her because of financial.

[00:01:05] Hello everyone. Thank you for joining me for another episode of money files today. I’m here with my client, Jackie. Hi


[00:01:11] Jackie. Hi.


[00:01:13] Thanks for joining me. You want to go ahead and introduce you?


[00:01:16] My name is Jackie. I am 41. I am an attorney. I’m newly divorced. I have one child and. That’s basically, it that’s me.


[00:01:33] I love it. We’ll take it. You’re also an avid runner. We could add that in about, well,


[00:01:38] that’s true.


[00:01:40] So let’s dive in. Where did you learn about my services?


[00:01:43] It was just on Instagram. I. I dunno, I was looking through something and then you popped up and I kind of just went through your website, went through your page and decided that it was time.

[00:01:57] What made it time? Just because I needed, I was going through a lot of personal issues with my divorce and I had several credit card. And nearly maxed out. Um, I just purchased a house, so I was not in the best financial position. So I thought that asking for help would be the best thing that I could do for myself and for my finances.


[00:02:21] Do you remember how you felt when we had like our initial consultation call


[00:02:25] a little embarrassed, a little naive. I thought that it would be about, I guess like spreadsheets and just numbers. And I think my initial. Goals, if you will, or to just kind of flush out what I needed to do with my finances, like, oh, do I need to like, like specifically, like with numbers, like, oh, do I need to put 500 here or there or the other?

[00:02:48] But I mean, it ended up being way more than that.


[00:02:52] I like, remember vividly Jackie, you reached out to me on a weekend. And I was like, who is this lady? And your pose, your pose. I think it was like a yoga pose in your picture on Instagram. I’m like, who is she? I don’t think I’ve ever told you this. I was like, she seems really frantic because you wanted to talk to me like that weekend.

[00:03:11] You were like, no, like, can we start working basically, like,


[00:03:15] Yes. Yes. Yes. I was. I was frantic. I specifically remember too, because I was at Sam’s club with my mom and my daughter, and I was like, oh, hold on just one second. No, no, no. Let me just like, let me respond to this really quick. And I’m so embarrassed by that, but I was just so frantic and I was just like, I need to start right now.

[00:03:34] If I don’t start right now, I will never do this and I just need to get it done right now. Ultimately waiting a week or I don’t even remember what it was. It was no big deal. Ultimately it happened.


[00:03:47] I think I bring it up because I think money is like, money is very emotional. Like you said, like you were thinking like let’s do spreadsheets and numbers and money is so much more than that.

[00:03:59] There’s like 10% of it is like, there’s this tool and a budget, but it’s like, what are the emotions? What’s the mindset. That’s also attached to what you’re making, like all the figures and the numbers mean.


[00:04:11] Right. Yeah, no, I, I, 100% agree with that. The numbers really don’t matter if you don’t bother to like, show up for yourself and do anything with them.

[00:04:21] I mean, the numbers can continue to increase. What’s credit card debt. If there’s nothing that you do about it. So you have to show up and you have to have that mindset to really, really dive in and figure out what you want and how you, how you want to spend your money and what you want in your life. And have.

[00:04:42] That spending plan reflect


[00:04:44] your goals. So we established the fact that you felt very frantic before we started working together. When, like, when did everything change for,


[00:04:55] in terms of just being able to get it together? It was in November. I mean, it was months after, because I was just, I’m still frantic throughout the initial call the first month intensive and even.

[00:05:10] The first, I think of like two months, I was just, I’d never looked at the spreadsheet. I, I always told myself, I’m going to look at it. I’m gonna look at it. I’m gonna sit down and I’m just gonna just bang it out. And I didn’t even understand what you’re doing at the time. I’m not gonna lie to you. Like you were entering numbers.

[00:05:22] And I was like, took his toes.


[00:05:26] And like,


[00:05:27] I mean, it was just like a whole, I don’t even know how you dealt with me. I really don’t like, so the moment it changed is when I, it was in, it was in November. It was. It was just before Thanksgiving. And I remember we were, we were doing like 15 minute sessions because I was just not doing anything right.

[00:05:50] And not, not doing anything right. But I just wasn’t bothering to do the work. I perhaps felt sorry for myself. And I mean, there was just all these like external circumstances that I, I was kind of blaming when all I had to do was just control it myself. And so there was a call that we had. I mean, I had spent like so much money and there wasn’t even a point to even look at the spreadsheet.

[00:06:14] And we just kind of like talked about like mindset and you recommended some podcasts. And I mean, really just like held my hand for like the whole mindset behind what was going on. It didn’t necessarily have to do with just finances. I mean, it was just kind of my general mindset and you held my hand and you recommended these things.

[00:06:34] And I mean, it was, it was life changing. One to a hundred percent life changing. I remember specifically, and I don’t even know how you didn’t give up on me at that point. Like, I really don’t because he was just like, every, like I recall, and I was like, oh, I’m just spending money receipts. And I don’t know, like whatever, you know, I don’t know what’s going on, but that moment.

[00:06:55] I mean, it just, it really, it changed my entire life. It changed my entire mindset because I, I saw what I was doing. I just wasn’t showing up for myself. I mean, it takes work and that’s what it does. It takes work to fix your finances and to, you know, have a spending plan. To know what you want to spend your money on to seek what your values are.

[00:07:19] And I, you know, I wasn’t doing that. And that one call made me realize that that’s what I needed to be doing. Not just wishing that someone would just enter my spreadsheet or like whatever it was, you know, like entering my receipts and going into my bank accounts. And, you know, I have to do that. I can’t rely on others to do that.

[00:07:37] You know, it has to be me and. I am telling you that one call like, like changed my life entirely. I sat down and I learned how to do the spreadsheet. And I was like, oh, that’s what it is. So all the numbers in the spreadsheet means, okay, this is the money you made to have before the bill is actually due.

[00:07:57] Oh, I


[00:07:58] get it now I


[00:08:00] get it. Okay. And I mean, it’s helped me show up in other areas of my life too, you know? With work with running and just being there for my daughter, being a great mother. I mean, it’s helped me in all kinds of areas, every


[00:08:15] area of my life. What do you think the shift was for you there?

[00:08:19] Like what was the mindset shift you had to choose a thought?


[00:08:22] I think it was just that I realized that no one was going to do it for me. I had to do it for myself. I had to just, just sit down and do it. I mean, I, I. I was just letting the circumstances take over as opposed to like me taking control of my life.

[00:08:40] I let the circumstances kind of control me or it know that that’s wrong. I would say that I just let things happen to me or I, my mindset was I was letting things happen to me. And then I realized that I don’t have to let things happen to me. I can just take control of it. That’s it.


[00:08:58] I can do it. I remember that call too.

[00:09:00] Cause it was, it wasn’t that we were even. It was talking about, we talked about a lot of the other pieces of like life, right? Cause I think the part around the money that’s emotional is like life is happening at the same time. And I think a lot of listeners can relate to that. And so we talked about, I mean, I remember talking about your feelings and we talked about your thoughts and how.

[00:09:22] When you are thinking in a specific way, how that actually makes you feel. And so when you feel a certain way, whether that’s negative or angry or whatever, like negative emotion, that that is, then you don’t take the actions that you actually desire, which I think what was happening, that’s what was happening for you.

[00:09:41] And so I think it was like, This realization and reckoning of like, regardless of the circumstance, like you could change your perspective and changing your perspective by way of your thoughts and being able to show. Yourself like that I can do this. I can be in control and not just only with your finances, but with other areas of your life as well.

[00:10:05] So like that, that’s how I would recall that conversation.


[00:10:08] That’s exactly what happened. I mean, that’s, you just hit the nail on the head. I mean, that’s exactly what happened in, you know, and I feel so much better now, like my thought process with regard to basically every aspect of my life is. Much much better.

[00:10:26] And in fact, you know, I’ve taken control of my finances and I thought my taxes finally, for 2019 and I was scared to do so. I mean, for the whole interior, this, I thought I would like $10,000. And I was like, I’m gonna to stick my head in the sand. And one day I was just like, I just have to do it. So I did it and I ended up getting, I I’m going to get a refund.

[00:10:47] It’s like, oh man, if I would’ve, would’ve known I’ve done this like six months ago or whenever, whenever it was. Like I took control of my finances and that was it. And now, and actually, as a matter of fact, today, I’m going to refinance my mortgage and I wouldn’t have been able to really wrap my head around it if I didn’t have my finances in order and have my goals in place.

[00:11:11] So it’s not just about having a budget if you will, but like recognizing what you want out of life and kind of using the spending plan. To make sure that that happens. And like I said, I mean, I’m going to refinance my house and I’m going to have, my mortgage is going to be less, but I wouldn’t have done any of that.

[00:11:33] I wouldn’t have filed my taxes or anything if I didn’t really have that mindset that I control my finances, I control what I want.


[00:11:41] I love that. And you know, I wanted to talk to you because I don’t know exactly if people have listened to other episodes, maybe they think like, this is, I don’t know, like just wanting to give camp, like being able to have this candid conversation about finances.

[00:11:54] Cause I know one of the things that people think about is like, will I get results? Or like I’ve tried this before and it’s never worked. And being able to realize that this is like a process. Like, it’s the person that you’re becoming, that you are someone who’s good at managing your finances, which I know you joke with me about like the evidence that you have now about being, being good with your finances, which is like the thing that I want you to always look for, because I think it’s the thing that keeps you going or keeps anyone going.

[00:12:25] So that oftentimes I think, we think like when we talk about being good with finances, that means that you have $300,000 in your. 401k. And that means that you have $50,000 sitting in an emergency fund, right? Like all of these lavish goals that I don’t think sound attainable when you’re like, Hey, I’m actually trying to get out of credit card debt.

[00:12:47] How can I even think about saving? Right. And being able to break that down for yourself to say, What’s my evidence that I’m good with finances. I mean, I know we, we had a, uh, a reckoning with grub hub and door dash, and

[00:13:11] I guess I tell us, like, what are you most proud of in this journey that you’ve been on for the last six,


[00:13:18] seven. First of all grub hub has been deleted off of my phone. Okay. And I order out maybe once a week, if it’s within the spending plan, what I’m most proud of is actually like sitting down and recognizing like what I need to do in order to achieve my goals.

[00:13:37] And so my ultimate goal is to be financially. Like, that’s my ultimate ultimate goal. But in order to do that, I have to number one, pay off my credit card debt and save money, this, that, and the other. So I have a plan and it’s not going to happen overnight. And so I am so proud of myself for just sitting down and having these money days twice a week, once on Friday to see if I can afford grub hub.

[00:14:04] And then once in the middle of the week to, to reconcile everything. The act of showing up to make sure that, you know, my everything is in order or, you know, whatever I need to do to kind of tweak it. I mean, I haven’t done that before. And so I think that is like the first step in achieving the goals. I mean, the money is there.

[00:14:25] They’re going to be things that happen. Expenses that are there. That towels listen. Okay. Those Turkey, they were mediocre. Okay. They were mediocre. I recognize that. And my daughter also recognizes that I have a lot of them, but

[00:14:50] that doesn’t, that doesn’t happen anymore because except for this chair that I’m sitting in right now that was planned, it was a planned, it was a plan. Because first of all, my old chairs, I bought them because they looked really good and they were like, they were thinking, looks so beautiful, but they were so uncomfortable to sit in, to work.

[00:15:11] So I had to find like a new office chair and I was like, oh, it’s not within my spinning plan. And I’m like, oh, but I really need to like, get a new chair because I really didn’t feel like working like eight hours a day. I mean, like I stuck to this chair for so many hours a day, it had to be comfortable.

[00:15:28] So anyway, the, the point, the point I’m making is that it wasn’t within the spending plan, but I readjusted my numbers so I could buy this chair and I wasn’t, it wasn’t a, uh, what do you call it up? Emotional buy impulse, impulse buy. It was something that I really like, I really needed to function for work.

[00:15:47] And I readjusted some spending plans because my, it aligned with my goals to be comfortable. I work otherwise I’m not going to be able to like, do the work I need to do. And you know, and that’s it. Yeah. There’s like zero productivity and there’s like beautiful yet very hard chairs. But like I said, like I knew where my money was.

[00:16:12] I knew what I was doing with my money, so I could just. Rearrange everything to, to accommodate this, this chair without feeling guilt, over buying the share. Because initially I was like, oh, I’m so like, I don’t want to buy this year. It’s like, I really want to pay off all my credit card, but thinking one chair is not going to derail my entire plant.

[00:16:34] And it wasn’t, I know this sounds silly. It’s just, it’s just one chair, but it’s, it’s the decision making process that. Behind purchasing this whole chairman, it was a whole flight to do for me. I was like, oh, I don’t know. Should I? But ultimately I bought it because they needed it and I read, arrange my spending plan to do so.

[00:16:53] Cause then you want the money I had because I kept, kept up to date with it.


[00:16:57] I think like you’re the thing that I feel like you’re talking about is being able to have like an intention with a purchase. Yes versus I know when we started working together and I know we’re laughing about these Turkish styles, which if you guys run our coaching calls, he would know that Jackie had to buy a lot of Turkish towels because she needed them at the time.

[00:17:17] Several months later, she informed me that the quality wasn’t there, she decided she had somebody who took her styles, but being able to like, I think that that speaks to, and I’ve done this before. This I need or being really impulsive. And oftentimes I know for myself, if I, if Amazon is coming to my house a lot, I’ve probably had some kind of like emotional spending like moment and all of a sudden like, oh, look, it’s Christmas in the middle of the year.

[00:17:51] But being able to recalibrate that for myself. Yeah. Like, how are you? Because you even talked about like grub hub. You’re like eating out once a week, which I also know you enjoy eating out. Right. You told me that your bank account would tilt, tell the therapist that you love sushi

[00:18:12] but yeah. How, how has that feeling for you? Because I think the fear for a lot of people is like, if I had put myself on a budget. Then I won’t be able to do the things that I desire to do. It’ll be restrictive.


[00:18:25] So I heard on another podcast that there’s like a season of sacrifice. And for me, this is my season of sacrifice, but I wouldn’t say that.

[00:18:34] I feel like I’m just giving up too much. You know, I still do what I need to do. But also have, you know, certain days, like I said, like certain days I will order out or whatever it is. So I’m not just like, it’s not an all or nothing, nothing spending plan budget, or, you know, whatever. Right. Like there are times where I want something and I’ll, I’ll buy it because it’s within my spending plan and there, I don’t feel restricted.

[00:19:03] I think that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t feel restricted in what I’m doing. I mean, It’s not, I don’t have an abundance of money to like go out every day. I mean, I’m not like. Like super duper wealthy so I can buy whatever I want whenever I want. And I don’t think that’s what this is about. Sure. It’s a little, you know, I have to hold back, but it’s not so restrictive that I don’t feel that, that I feel like I’m not enjoying my life.

[00:19:28] I think that’s


[00:19:29] where I’m going with that. Yeah. But I think like, right, you were talking about like having this like abundance of money. And when I hear people say that they don’t want to be on a budget because right. They want to be able to do what they desire to do. Like guys, we have so many, you don’t have an infinite number of dollars.

[00:19:48] You get paid a certain amount of money, whatever that is, and being able to make a plan for how you desire to spend that money. Like that’s why you want a budget because it gives you choices. Not because we want you to not be able to do the things that you desire doing. And so if we kind of like blindly, just go and spend that’s where we start to butt up against that, like the shame and the guilt and the overwhelm, because we have this pile of debt looking at us because we were living our best lives and just kind of ignoring where our dollars actually could go and how they could work towards meeting our goals, whether the goals be saving, paying off debt or.

[00:20:29] You know, having fun, whatever it is that you value,


[00:20:31] right? Yeah. Yeah. I think it’s, I mean, for me, it’s not, like I said, I’m still living my best life, but I don’t. I mean, there’s a reality too. I only make so much and you know, I’m not like. Falling out of control, going to Hawaii every, you know, every month, you know, I don’t have that within the confines of my like info on.

[00:20:53] So, I mean, there’s the reality as well, you know, like you have bills to pay whatever it is, rent, mortgage, you know, food children, and maybe not children, you know, you have all these expenses and then you also, and you have reality as well. And so you have to just, you have to take that into


[00:21:09] account when you’re.


[00:21:11] Live in your best life? You know, I mean, like I, you know, if I see a pair of diamond earrings that I want, I mean, if I only make a certain amount and those diamond earrings are like $3,000, I can’t afford that. You know, and if I buy it on credit or whatever it is, it’s just. It doesn’t sync up with reality.

[00:21:32] And what is actually coming in? What


[00:21:35] are you looking forward to this year with this like new mindset shifts that you have in terms of like how you manage your finances?


[00:21:42] I’m super excited to pay down my credit card debt. And not only that just I have a plan to perhaps. Invest in another property. So I mean, that resulted from my call today about like refinancing my mortgage and like he logs and this, that, and the other, but like that initially that was my ultimate.

[00:22:03] Well, that was my goal is to become like a real estate investor. I think back in the 2019. First start thinking about buying property, but I’m not gonna lie. This house was an emotional spin. I was going through a lot, but what I am looking forward to actually utilizing the experience that I have, like buying this house and moving forward and, you know, actually going through.

[00:22:32] Buying another house and maybe not, I mean, the house might not be purchased this year, but you know, I’m going to take steps to do that because I don’t really want to practice anymore and I want to be financially free and I want to work for myself. And I think this is one of the things that th this is one of my goals to do what.

[00:22:53] We want to do to do what I enjoy and also have income as well. And so, you know, taking control of my finances, I would be able to do that. You know, I obviously have to pay down like my dad. And that’s what it seems like a couple of years, a lot of dads. I mean, I maxed out all my cards, all of them, but now those are getting paid down.

[00:23:14] I’m not using those cards anymore. And so, I mean, it’s just going to, it’s a process and it’s going to take a while and it’s not going to be overnight for sure. It’s not even going to be this year, unless I win the lottery, which is not going to happen, but because I don’t play, it’s not in my spending plan, but that’s what I’m looking forward to is like, just, just being able to make those like consistent, incremental steps to achieve my ultimate goal, which is to, you know, be financially free.

[00:23:43] You know, within the next, you know, few years, I mean, it’s going to take some sacrifice and a lot of work, but I’m willing to put in the work and, you know, just based on our like calls and, you know, I’m so I’m so glad that I reached out to you and we start working together. Cause I’m not, I’m not kidding you.

[00:24:00] Like it was, it was the best thing that I did last year. The best hands, hands down, hands down, because I mean, here I am. In a much better position financially and you know, all around work physically, because I took these steps and it wasn’t just about the spreadsheets, the numbers, it was about, you know, the, the mindset that I had, which was just, it’s just so hard.

[00:24:26] Everything is just like happening to me. And, you know, I mean, yeah, things were happening, but. I also couldn’t control what happens to me and how I perceive or think about the circumstances. I love


[00:24:38] that. And, you know, I’m excited too. I feel like I’ve used you in an example with another client because you have your, your daughter.

[00:24:46] And I know we’ve talked about like what you desire to buy for her or not buy for her, whatever that looks like. But even just being in control of that, I’ve had the opportunity to work with a lot of divorce women in the past several weeks. And emotional spending that happens like at Christmas time or because like your kids are in also a season of transition and us being able to even talk through that with your daughter being happy with like a refrigerator box and playing in a laundry basket.

[00:25:14] Right.

[00:25:19] But really thinking about right. Like going back to the mindset piece is like, where do you need to self coach yourself to not combat. In terms of like buying everything for her, but like, how else do you desire to show up for your daughter that doesn’t include buying her gifts or it doesn’t have to always mean that money is being spent and she still gets the same, like amount of love and care.

[00:25:42] And I say that because I think that happens, you know, for a lot of us where we are. Acquainting money with some type of value that you would show to like how you express love to someone else it’s like, because I bought you this. Now you should feel this way about me or think this way about me and really like what we have control of is our thoughts.

[00:26:03] And just being able to be creative with. How can I still show this other person that I care without like impacting my financial goals and the things that add value for sure.


[00:26:15] Yes. I was very, very guilty of trying to buy or when my daughters love. Presence lots and lots of presents from Disney. I got a lot of my money in the very beginning of this divorce.

[00:26:28] I won’t lie, but now I, you know, the things I do now that don’t involve money because I don’t want my house cluttered full of like four Rapunzel dolls. I don’t like, I can’t, I can’t deal with it. But what we do is we will go outside and like right with. Or just watch a movie. I mean, we have Friday night movie eyes and lucky for me, she likes frozen pizza, right.

[00:26:53] Or just like regular, like Mac and cheese. I don’t have to have like this big like to do for her anymore. It’s not that I ever had to do that. I just thought I did to, to win sort of her love just because of the, you know, it’s hard. Like divorce is hard. You have like the other parent and you know, you really want to make sure that.

[00:27:13] I dunno for me, it was just, I wanted her to love me. And so I gave her so many gifts, but now I’ll do that. I don’t think so. Like no way I can’t. I mean, she, she still thinks that she can like get away with stuff and like, oh mommy, I want this, I want that. And I’m like, Go ask her dad. That’s not entering my house.

[00:27:32] Why don’t we go? Like it’s I’m in Florida. So it’s like hot here right now. And so I’m like, why don’t I just shoot some water at you? And you can like play in the backyard. So I just like spend time with her and find activities that I could do that don’t involve money. I mean, because I don’t want her to.

[00:27:48] Also, I don’t want her to use that as a bargaining tool. Like, oh, well I want you to buy me this. Cause daddy bought me that girl. No, I don’t think so. Like, we can go out and we can ride a bike or what else do we do? Oh, draw. We draw all the time. We do like this blindfolding drawing, like, which she loves, like I put on a blindfold and she’s like, right.

[00:28:07] Draw an elephant. So I’ll draw an oath and then we’ll do the same with her. So, I mean, that’s. Pen and paper, or like whatever crayons and paper. So it’s not, you know, I’m not buying her things. She just wants to spend time with me, you know? And, you know, occasionally I, uh, I’ll still buy her life things, but not, not too many.

[00:28:25] And certainly not like on demand. Because she wants X, Y, and Z, because that’s not happening. I, that’s not the way I live my life. I don’t want clutter in my house. Things get donated. And that’s it. It’s hard though. It’s hard to sort of, it’s definitely hard to manage that in the beginning, just because, you know, you, you think you just, you know, oh, because they, you feel, you feel guilt.

[00:28:48] I mean, I


[00:28:48] felt guilty. I felt really


[00:28:49] guilty about everything. And then all, I also wanted to one up him, you know, and like, there’s this whole situation with a P and like a keyboard. He ended up buying her the keyboard and I’m like, you know what cool find by me. Like, I’m not going to buy her one now, you know, and, or whatever else he buys.

[00:29:06] But I, I think that just like spending time with her and utilizing whatever I have. I mean, I, I have like, cardstock we made Valentine’s day cards yesterday with like, That I already had. And I mean, just like hanging out with her, watching some TV, she’s like, she’s like really into like this show called me and me.

[00:29:25] So like we stayed up and watched it. I mean, I’m not like a fan of it or whatever, but you know, that’s what she wants to do. That’s how we spend our time, where we play games or like random games or sing dance, whatever. She’s like, she’s also into the Hamilton soundtrack to,


[00:29:42] um, but I, yeah, and the reason I bring that up is cause like we all have, we all have our own money stories.

[00:29:48] And so just thinking about you have the ability. To shape her money story. And, you know, she’s watching you and how you spend money. She’s watching how you talk about money. And even just thinking about like, what is she able to receive by way of like, even her words. And so I think it’s really important for, for anyone who has kids in their life to think about like, how do we talk about money or what are we doing with our finances?

[00:30:13] Because kids are. So impressionable and yeah, whenever I, whenever I’m talking to parents, especially when we’re going, when they’re going through like a divorce or separation, it’s being mindful of like, what are we doing with our money? And how is that connecting to like that emotional side of money that may not actually be in alignment with those things that you value or.


[00:30:35] 100%. I remember one day I was just, I was having a really bad day. And then she was like, mommy, why don’t we just like, order him was like, all right, that’s cool. Let’s do it. Who was like, did my child just get me to like order pancakes for breakfast on a weekday? Like. I just, I couldn’t even believe that that transpired.

[00:30:59] I mean, now I look back at it and I’m like, oh my God, what was I doing? You know? I mean, it won’t, it certainly won’t happen again, but you know, like she was already she’s, she’s six, five, and she’s like, oh, let’s let’s


[00:31:10] order grub hub. But even just like for a five-year-old, regardless of where this five-year-old is in the world, You know what grub hub is?

[00:31:18] Like, I feel like at five, I was like happy to get a happy meal every like once in

[00:31:22] a


[00:31:22] while she was like straight up and she like identified grub hub. Like let’s just call her grandpa. Okay.


[00:31:31] I guess so

[00:31:35] well, to wrap up, what advice would you give to listeners who are in a similar situation, like as you were, when you first saw.


[00:31:44] I would say, don’t give up, um, just keep showing up for yourself, which means like doing whatever you need to do to make whatever small changes, it doesn’t have to be like a huge change.

[00:31:57] And I don’t think anything is going to


[00:31:59] change


[00:32:01] over night, like in terms of like big steps, but just, you know, hold on and really think about what you want. And. Your goals and what steps, what Le even just what little steps that you can do to like, maintain those goals. I mean, just very, I mean, something that, you know, you can maintain every day because, you know, if you’ve had these big lofty goals with these initial steps that, you know, that’s not gonna happen, like, you know, whatever, I’ll save $5,000 a month or whatever it is, you know?

[00:32:32] And that’s that’s, you know, if you’re not saving anything or paying down whatever, like $5,000 is a lot, try, you know, showing up with I’m going to save like $10 a month or a week or whatever. So just those small, consistent steps will help. I think. You show up for yourself and, you know, I guess show up for yourself and, you know, create, I guess, evidence for yourself that you can actually do it.

[00:32:58] So you can depend on yourself because you know, you don’t save that $5,000. You’re like, oh, that sucks. I’m a terrible person. You know, I didn’t save that. But if you’re, you know, oh, this is what I did this month, I saved five, $5 next month. I say, A year down the road. Oh, look, I did this every single month consistently.

[00:33:16] And then that I think, uh, you know, for me, it makes me, it would make me feel better because I know I showed up and I took those small, consistent steps. And then also


[00:33:24] seeking.

[00:33:30] Is there anything that I didn’t ask you that I should’ve asked?


[00:33:33] I don’t think so. I think you’ve covered everything. I mean, I think you’ve covered everything and, you know, I think, I mean, hands down, like you were like instrumental in like helping me, like get out of my, like, whatever, like funk last year.

[00:33:48] And I mean, really like propelled me forward and held my hand and. Didn’t give up. I didn’t give up is the better way to put it. You didn’t give up on me. You didn’t let me give up on myself. And I value that and tremendously, and that was like worth everything. No, I paid you more money. I mean, I honestly like you were, you were very instrumental in.

[00:34:15] Helping me get to this point today. I mean, that’s like straight up, honestly. Like I would tell everybody 100% recommend you hands down without a doubt. That’s it. So see here,


[00:34:29] I enjoyed working with you. I think I love all of my clients, honestly. I’m always like, oh, they’re my favorite, but no, definitely reflecting back on.

[00:34:41] Working you with you for the past couple of months, just being able to see, like, especially seeing you have that big. Breakthrough for yourself last November and like show up for yourself in a way that I don’t know. It was literally like everything clicked. Like all of a sudden the pieces just came together and I’m excited to see, like, where will you be a year from now?

[00:35:02] Hopefully with.


[00:35:04] And


[00:35:08] hopefully it


[00:35:08] is definitely, definitely. Yes, yes. Yes. I don’t mean, hopefully I’m on track. I’m on track.


[00:35:15] You’re on track. And even just how you talk about, I think it’s how you’re talking about money now, when you’re thinking about money coming in, you’re thinking about money coming out. And so the, the intention is just there and it’s different.

[00:35:28] And so I believe that when you can. I have that different sense of like financial awareness, like everything else just falls into place. So thank you for tuning in to this episode. If you would like to dive a little bit deeper into your finances, so you can go to wealth over now that com and book a call with me.

[00:35:45] Thank you. I just love it. That you made it to the end of this episode of money files. Some part of today’s story resonated with you and showed you the power of coaching today. I’m inviting you to take the first step and book a one-to-one call with me. We’ll discuss what you’re hoping to achieve with your money, where you need support and how I can help you reach your financial goals faster than you ever could alone.

[00:36:10] Go to www.wealthovernow.com and book. Once again, my name is Keina and thank you again for joining me. Also stay tuned for the next episode.

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