You’re scrolling Instagram at 10 PM when you see it the diffuser everyone’s talking about, now on sale. Your thumb hovers over “Add to Cart.” Your heart rate speeds up. Before you know it, you’re entering your credit card information.
You are not alone.
The average American makes an impulse purchase at least once a week, spending $50 to $200 per month on unplanned purchases. That’s up to $2,400 a year that could be going toward your actual goals.
If you’ve been beating yourself up about impulse spending, here’s what you need to know: Your brain is responding exactly as it’s designed to. Spending urges aren’t a character flaw they’re a normal response to living in 2025 where you can buy anything with one click from your couch at 2 AM.
The good news? You don’t need to fight your urges. You just need to learn to work with them.
Here’s the simple three-step framework I use with my coaching clients to stop impulse spending without feeling deprived.
The 3-Step Framework to Stop Impulse Spending
Most advice about impulse spending focuses on tactics:
Delete shopping apps.
Use the 24-hour rule.
Unsubscribe from emails.
Those things can help, but they don’t address the root issue – you haven’t learned to work with your spending urges, you’re just trying to avoid them.
Here’s a better approach.
Step 1: Recognition: Notice the Urge Without Shame
The first step is simply noticing when you’re having a spending urge. This sounds simple, but most people skip right past this. They go from “I want this” to “I bought this” without any awareness in between.
Pay attention to your body.
Spending urges aren’t just thoughts – they’re physical sensations. For me, I feel an expansion in my chest, a sense of urgency like I need to act NOW, and a buzzy feeling like I’ve had too much coffee.
Notice the story you’re telling yourself.
Your brain will create a narrative to justify the purchase. Common stories include “I’ll never find it this cheap again,” “Everyone else has this,” “I deserve a reward,” or “It’s basically free with this discount.”
A real life example.
Last December, I was at my girlfriend’s house and she had this amazing holiday scent. I immediately went down a rabbit hole looking at diffusers and oils.
The urge felt urgent in my chest I wanted instant gratification.
The story I was telling myself: “The house is gonna smell so good. People are going to come over and notice. My mother needs to experience this!”
The truth, my mother does not care about essential oil diffusers.
But the moment I recognized the urge and the story, I created space to make a different choice.
Recognition is the first step if you genuinely want to stop impulse spending.
Step 2: Response: Choose Your Action Intentionally
Once you’ve recognized the spending urge, you get to choose how to respond. The goal isn’t to always say no – it’s to move from unconscious reaction to conscious choice.
You have four options:
Option 1: Buy it now (conscious yes)
Sometimes you genuinely want something, you can afford it, and it aligns with your values. Great! Buy it. The difference is you’re making a conscious choice, not an impulsive reaction.
Option 2: “Come Back To” list
Put it on a list to revisit in 30, 60, or 90 days. Maybe in three months, you’ll still really want it and you’ll choose to buy it from a place of intention rather than urgency.
Option 3: Not right now
This is about timing, not never. It’s pausing.
Like my client who just moved into a new house. She will furnish it. Just not all at once on a credit card. She’s saving $500/month for 12 months so she can pay cash.
Option 4: Never (Your Clear Boundary)
Some things are a hard no because they don’t align with your values or goals.
Questions to ask before you buy
Can I afford this in the context of my full financial plan?
Do I actually need this?
What do I already have that serves this purpose?
Am I buying from urgency or intention?
If I spend this money now, what am I saying no to?
Why Practicing “No” Matters
Here’s something that might surprise you: Sometimes I say no to myself just to practice saying no. I’ll walk into TJ Maxx and look at the journals (I love journals) and tell myself, “Put your hands in your pockets.” Not because I can’t afford another journal, but because our minds get used to automatic yeses.
Practicing no builds your ability to choose.
Step 3: Reflection: Learn Your Patterns Over Time
This is where the real transformation happens.
When you start paying attention to your spending urges over time, you begin to see patterns. And when you know your patterns, you can anticipate urges before they hit.
Weekly Reflection Questions
Ask yourself:
How many times this week did I feel a strong urge to buy something?
What was I doing or feeling right before each urge?
Which urges did I act on? Which did I let pass?
For the urges I acted on – do I still feel good about those purchases?
The power of anticipation:
One of my clients was moving and knew the urge to decorate immediately would hit.
Her brain would tell her:
“I can’t have people over until this place looks complete.”
Because we planned before she moved, she was ready.
She gave herself permission to enjoy her home without spending $10,000 in the first month.
That’s what reflection builds awareness and readiness.
Why Small Spending Urges Matter
Here’s the thing about impulse spending: One purchase isn’t the problem. It’s the cumulative impact.
If you’re saying yes to every small urge you have, those small yeses add up. That $480 diffuser, the new journals at TJ Maxx ($100 over a year), the “I deserve this” purchases after bad days ($50 each) – what if those small yeses add up over $4,000 over a year?
That’s the start of your emergency fund, a Roth IRA contribution, a vacation you could pay for in cash, or the thing you don’t even know you want yet because you’ve never had space to think about it.
When you practice saying “not right now” strategically, you end up MORE satisfied with the things you do buy. Because you’ve learned to filter yourself. And you create space for things that didn’t feel attainable before.
Saying “not right now” creates space for the things you want more.
You’re not depriving yourself — you’re prioritizing yourself.
Your Action Plan to Stop Impulse Spending
Here’s what to do this week:
Start a spending urge journal – For 7 days, write down every time you feel an urge to buy something. Note what you were doing, how you felt, and what story you told yourself.
Practice recognition – Just notice your urges without judgment. Where do you feel them in your body? What narratives show up?
Try saying “not right now” once – Pick one small urge and practice letting it pass. Notice how you feel an hour later, a day later.
Impulse spending doesn’t go away because you avoid temptation.
It shifts when you build awareness, intention, and self-trust.
Recognition.
Response.
Reflection.
Practice these three steps consistently, and you’ll stop being controlled by your urges and start making choices that actually align with the life you want to build.
Ready to spend with intention?
Everyone has urges, even me, a financial coach.
Everyone has spending urges — even me, a financial coach.
The difference between impulse spending and intentional spending is practice.
If you want support building a money system that helps you spend, save, and plan with confidence…
And if you love learning on the go, listen to my podcast:
Money Files: Wealth Over Now, where I dive deeper into the spending patterns and money habits of six-figure earners to help you spend more money drama free.
